I thought I would be blogging this post about our trip to Florida (which was awesome, by the way), but I have something pressing on my heart that I wanted to get out. It seems as if writing about things on my mind often really helps, not to mention that the little bits of feedback and the advice I get are priceless.
As I look towards the changes that face us in April with the arrival of a new baby into our lives, I have been feeling pretty anxious and apprehensive lately. I cannot stress how much I love Coranelle or how blessed we feel to have her in our lives. We love her spirited nature and who she is becoming. Yet, when I imagine taking care of her and a newborn, I panic. The girl CANNOT sit still- not ever. I am not talking about your typical energetic toddler. We saw plenty of those on our trip. Those toddlers fell asleep on a four hour plane ride. They'd sit in a stroller, shopping cart or wagon for at least 10 minutes without freaking out and throwing a fit. No, this is a different kind of restlessness and inability to relax. Holding her on our laps on the plane was an exhausting and almost impossible endeavor. If the fasten seat-belt sign came on and we had to keep her on our laps instead of standing between us and the seats in front of us, she would yell, wail, flail, wiggle and fight. We had all the essentials to keep her entertained- fun snacks, stickers, coloring books, toys, new books from the library, the aqua doodle, etc. Managing to get Coranelle to stay in one place for that long was enough to convince us that we will not be flying again... for a long time. We just spent a whole week at the beach and I never once laid on a towel and read a book. Actually, I never sat in a lawn chair. Not that I minded, we had a blast playing in the water and sand with Coranelle, I am just illustrating my point.
The way Coranelle manages to fight sleep is kind of astounding. She didn't nap well in Florida, despite all the sun, running and playing on the beach, and excitement. She was up by 6:15 most days, but didn't fall asleep until around 8:30. She's not really getting the recommended 11 hours a night of sleep that is needed at her age. It doesn't matter how early we put her to bed. It's typical for her to take 45 min to an hour to wind down and fall asleep. When she gets overtired, we seem to experience the dreaded night terrors, which we had two of this past week because she didn't sleep/nap and got overtired.
On top of her restless nature, I have been noticing more and more how much she depends on us to entertain her. I know this is my fault, but I am not sure how to force/teach her to play independently. We had a different routine and schedule on vacation, and that seemed to augment the issue. I could barely pour a cup of juice without her wanting me to hold her so she could watch. We have come to realize that me holding her all the time is not good during pregnancy (or ever at this age). It is taking it's toll on my back and neck. So, when I refuse to pick her up so I can take a few minutes to make a sandwich, cook, put clothes in the washer, type a quick e-mail, whatever... she freaks out and cries. Obviously, this is not going to work when baby #2 comes around. So, what do I do? How do I prepare her? What on earth is going to happen when I have to nurse an infant for 30-45 minutes 8 times a day?! I don't seem to be able to nurse within 10 minutes like many moms, so I am really worried about this. My mom said that when she nursed me, Stefan would just sit really close to her on the couch and watch. We have a problem there as my child literally cannot sit still! I am really quite concerned about this. We have lots and lots of toys, but she doesn't seem to want to play alone. I know she will change and grow up in the next few months, and I am hoping that she will grow out of her current neediness, but I don't know. I'd love some advice! She'll have to adjust to spending more time at home, playing on her own as we spend time nursing, waiting for the baby to nap, avoiding big crowds and the flu season for a while and I am concerned about that!
I've been hearing from a few moms recently who had their second kid this past month. It is almost upsetting to me to hear how easily their first child has adjusted, because I know Coranelle will not fall angelically into the role of being an older sister. I want to be able to find a sense of peace about this so that all of my worrying about what's to come doesn't stress out the little one inside of me! I fully believe that God won't give me more than I can handle. I know He'll give me the grace and strength to get through, and provide lots of people to help out and support me. Sometimes though, I feel as if Coranelle drains every last bit of me and I don't know how I'll properly care for two. So, I'd appreciate your prayers and advice immensely!
On a more positive note, the trip to Florida was a wonderful time to spend with Ryan, Coranelle, my mom and Steve. We loved it and I hope you enjoy a few of the pictures! Enjoy your thanksgiving week!
4 comments:
Hi Kari! Welcome to motherhood, dear! Relax! The best advice I can give you is go to the library and check out some books for Coranelle about having a new brother/sister or a new baby in the house. Talk to her and try to explain to her what's going to happen. We actually bought Dawn a baby set: baby/stroller/bassinet, etc. before bringing Zack home, so when I was nursing Zack, she could rock and feed her baby. I would tell her, "Mommy's going to feed Zack now. Go get your baby and feed your baby." It seemed to help. It also helped having the gates up, so that we would be in the same room or same floor, so she wasn't wandering around the house doing who knows what! :-) I hope this helps. If I think of anything else, I'll let you know. But don't stress too much! You'll get through it, I promise! And as she gets older, it does get easier!
Shawna, thanks for the good advice for Kari. I agree with the "RELAX" advice. It will ALL work out. It will be tough at first, but it will get easier. Kari and her brother, Stefan, are 22 months apart.......I do remember....
kari, its tough to come up with advice when i haven't been in this exact situation myself, but what came to mind while reading your post was something i read years ago on another girl's blog. she had an extremely rough recovery from her labor (lots of painful damage done) and so she sought out a young girl from her church that would volunteer to come by and help her out. this woman was not in the position to offer to pay the girl, but she prayed about it and God basically laid this sweet teenager in her lap! the girl loved babies and was eager to learn and play and help out....all just for the experience of it.
perhaps this could be something you could begin praying about? just having someone come by once a day (could be several people) to help "entertain" coranelle as you get a handle on having 2 kids. nothing is impossible with God and you never know how thrilled a young girl might be to have an opportunity like this. in return, you could promise her a great reference when she gets her first job.
i'll be praying for you, that God will fill you with peace about this and that a solution would present itself. does coranelle enjoy tv at all? tristan would be entertained by "the wiggles" for 20 minutes....long enough for me to get the baby down for a nap.
big hugs.
~heidi
I think that's such a great idea to be praying that the Lord provide someone to help you for a while!!
I totally thought of this very situation when Grace was first born. I thought how hard it would be to have another child to take care of, but so many moms have done it, and I guess you just do what you have to do. Maybe if you have any friends with a baby, you could "practice"(for both your and coranelles bennefit) and you hold the baby and have her sit by you, or she might have to be forced to entertain herself. It will probably be a little tough on you both, but it'd be better to expose her to what it's going to be like ahead of time.
I'll be praying for you friend. You can do it, and I know IRS so hard, but echoing what others have said, try not to stress too much about it. It won't help you or coranelle, or the baby! Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart, fear is not from Him!
Love you lots!!
Jaime
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