lost

Getting some love from her uncle Stefan at his birthday celebration.
Taking a nap on Grandpa Steve while mommy and daddy had a date night!
Loving the swings!
Sitting up all on his own!


I told Ryan the other night that I was feeling like I was in a bit of a slump. As a stay-at-home mom, my life drastically changed when Coranelle was born. My career, my worries, my spare time, my friends, my body, pretty much everything. Sometimes, I wonder if there is any of the old "me" left.

We had just finished having a really fun, celebratory dinner with Ryan's brother because they learned on Saturday that in about 20 weeks, they are going to have a baby boy. Yay! We get a nephew and Coranelle and Sheldon are going to have a cousin to play with! My parents came over to watch our kids and we went to church and dinner with Josh and Claire. It was the first time in 14 months that we have gone out with another couple, without kids. It was so fun to share a meal, laugh, be silly, talk and have my mind on something other than my kids- whether or not they're eating enough, if they're sleeping, if they're happy, etc. It made me remember the "me" that I was when Ryan first met me. The girl who could, and often did, laugh so hard I cried, snorted and peed my pants. Where did that girl go? Well, I had kids and life changes. The responsibility is much greater. Is that part of me lost?

I cannot blame that change on my kids. It is something that I need to be aware of, and work on. My kids need to see me laugh, often. They need to see me be silly and care-free more often. They need to know me as I was when their daddy met, and fell in love with me. I have to work on taking life a little less seriously.

On the other hand, here is why I have been taking life seriously lately. We went to Sheldon's 6 month appointment on Fri. He went from being in the 46% in weight at 4 months, to the 8th% at 6 months. He is still growing, but that is a BIG slow down in his weight gaining speed. The pediatrician recommended that I do everything I am already doing to help my milk supply stay up. The hard part is, Sheldon won't take formula and he is very resistant to solid foods. We have just recently got him to the point of tolerating carrots. Over the course of 15-20 min, we might get a tablespoon of pureed carrots in him. Not enough to make up for the milk he needs and might not be getting. I tried to pump before we left for Mops this morning so I could bring him a bottle, but no letdown= no milk. So, I nervously pulled one of my 5 bags of frozen milk left from the freezer. That means I only have 5 more times that I can rely on stored milk to get him fed. That scares me!

Also at Sheldon's appointment, he got 5 vaccinations. That REALLY did a number on the little guy, so he was a bit of a cranky mess this weekend. The tylenol seemed to do nothing in the way of relieving his pain, so we went out late Friday night to get him some Motrin. It's a good thing too, because before his dosage of motrin, he was waking up about every hour. Coranelle also had a couple of rough days this weekend- waking up from naps with night terrors and refusing to take naps. The lack of sleep made her a wreck- erupting into inconsolable tears over nothing. So, it was a bit of a rough weekend.

Which brings me to my question- what are your suggestions to me to help me relax and loosen up a bit. When we have weekends like this, I just feel utterly consumed with kid "stuff". I'd love a few tips!

On a much brighter and happier note, Sheldon has done a bit better being left. I tried leaving him at the rec center for the first time yesterday, and he made it for a whole hour. They said he cried on and off for a bit, but did well for the first time. That allowed me a half hour to chat with a friend on the elliptical! And today at Mops, I fed him and then checked him into the nursery and he stayed for an hour and a half! They said he even played and was happy for a while. He screamed for a while when he got tired and they got him to go to sleep in his carseat! What a wonderful feeling! Good little man- giving his mommy a periodic break!

I suppose that's all my brain can think of, as far as an update. I hope you are all enjoying this gorgeous fall!