So, for those of you out there that still occasionally read this, I'd love some advice;
Today was one of those days where we had a really high moment and then a really, awful, low hour. This morning was C's first day of preschool. I was super nervous as every time we have started something like this, she has had a hard time adjusting and is clingy and hesitant when I leave. She had a hard time at church, Mops and the rec center and it took a long time for her to warm up to these situations. So, we've been talking about preschool for months. I've probably checked out at least 10 books about starting school and preschool and we've done tours and visits and just really hyped up the whole opportunity. Yet, I was nervous. Apparently, and surprisingly, I had no need to be. We got to school and we went into her classroom. She immediately found a puzzle and sat down to do it. There was another little girl there and it was her first day. The two of them talked and played. When it was time for me to leave, I asked her if she wanted to come say goodbye to Sheldon and me and she didn't even turn around. She just waved and continued on with her puzzle. When I went to pick her up, her teacher and directors all told me that she did wonderfully and had a great time. She talked and smiled and was great. When she came out to meet me, she yelled, "I had SO much fun". So, she told me all about what they did and her new friends and kept asking when she gets to go again. I was SO pleased. I really desired that her first experience with school was a positive one, as I want her to LOVE school and think it is fun. So, what an answer to prayers. I was so proud of her and so happy.
And then we went to day 3 of a week long soccer camp. Let me preface by saying that this camp is not cheap and it is put on by british soccer players- so it's the real deal. Coranelle has been excited to play soccer for months. We even got her little shin guards, new tennis shoes and we have read plenty of books about soccer. Apparently the college aged coaches are terrifying to Coranelle, as are the games they play. They have varied the well-know game of sharks and minnows and turned it into crabs and surfers, sharks and fish, etc. Coranelle was so afraid of these coaches the first day that she was literally shaking. She was terrified of the games and super clingy. So, the hours that I had expected to cheer and watch, I have spend holding her hand and playing with her. Today, things went from bad to worse when her coaches took the night off and there were two, new coaches. Coranelle would not let go of my hand to play. She would not kick the ball without me by her side (holding her hand). If I stepped a foot away, she'd erupt into tears and shriek that she needed help and couldn't do it by herself. If she kicked her ball and it didn't go where she wanted, she was a basket case. After 50 minutes of being as positive and excited and fun and supportive as you could POSSIBLY imagine, I lost it. None of the other parents were holding their three year old's hand. The other kids were not terrified. What was going on?! So, I did what any good parent does- I bribed her! I told her she could have 2 fruit snacks if she could play that last game by herself and if I could watch and cheer from the sideline- just 10 feet away. She promised she would. But, she got 2 feet away from me and started wailing that she just couldn't do it and that I had to come with her. I couldn't handle the whining anymore and I walked off the field. Ryan had long since lost his patience and was playing with Sheldon at the park. He had left work early to come watch Coranelle and just couldn't handle the whining. So, here's where I need advice.... Now what?
I don't want to let her just quit. I quit when I was a kid and now I regret it. I quit soccer, baseball, basketball and piano and now I wish I had all those skills. I explained this to Coranelle and she seemed to understand. She told me that she wanted to play with her friends and not be lonely. But, how do I get her to do that? We have decorated her ball, played the games at home, done the chants at home, done everything short of a full-on pep rally. And the odd thing is- she is typically Ms. Independent. She completely gets dressed on her own, gets into our lifted 4-runner, puts on her seat belt, gets her own water, etc.
I think part of the issue is that she is so critical of herself. If the ball doesn't go EXACTLY where she wants it to when she kicks it, she becomes hysterical. If she trips or misses the goal, it's as if the world has ended. So, she is clearly critical of herself. How do we work on that? I've tried to tell her that mistakes are fine and everyone is learning. But, it hasn't sunk in.
She's actually quite an athlete and can dribble the ball and run like you wouldn't believe. So, I don't understand where this is coming from. I love this girl fiercely and I really want her to have a good first experience with soccer. Any suggestions? Other than venting on my blog while drinking a beer?
1 comment:
Hi Kari!!
First of all, LOVE the pictures of the kids! Coranelle is getting so big and I didn'te realize how deep Shelton's dimples are!
Second of all, we should get together sometime soon!!
Lastly, (and I know you posted this last week but I was a little out of touch with blogs then) )when I read about Coranelle I see similarities between her and Noah. Noah's first day of preschool went SO well. . . I thought he'd have a hard time with me leaving but it was a walk in the park. His swim lessons sound similiar to Coranelle's soccer. Last summer he refused to get in the pool. (A parent at Red Hawk who volunteers with the movement program and with whom I've become friends remembers Justin sitting on the side of the pool with Noah last summer and this is before we knew each other!) The only way he would get in the pool was if I would be there with him. So here's me and my almost-4 year old in the mom and me class with toddlers! So, last fall my friend Melissa and I (her two kids and my two kids are practically the same age) devise this plan to have the boys (her son and my son) take the same swim lessons while she and I take our girls (who are 3 months apart) to a mommy and me swim class. Of course Justin was there with Noah and the first 2 out of the 4 classes he pulls the whole "sit on the side of the pool with daddy while I laugh at all the fun that Hank is having". And looking at it in hindsight, I wondering if it was because Justin or I were there with him. With preschool I left and he was there with the teachers without us and he had to just "be" where as with swim lessons Justin or I were still around/accessible and he knew that. Is there any chance that could be part of her hesitancy in soccer? I know she's had difficulty with you leaving in church, MOPS, so maybe that's not it all. The other thing I would say about her having more difficulty that day with soccer, and I'm sure you've thought of this, is that it was a HUGE day for her. Her first day of preschool was big and it sounds like it was very successful! I hope that the rest of the week of soccer went better!! I'd love to see you and the kids, let me know if you'd like to meet at a park or at the spray park at the Orchard.
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