shrinking or growing?

I read this great blog post yesterday that I want to share with you. It really got me thinking about my own self and the many precious women around me. Take a minute to read this post and watch the 3 minute video, too.

http://momastery.com/blog/2013/10/21/why/

Until I read this article, I had never put into words the differences between men and women and their sizes and their goals. I had never really thought about that fact that generally, women work out to get smaller, to lose weight, to shrink. And often, men exercise to get bigger and stronger. Ryan and I have always joked about him "getting HUGE" when he goes to lift. And "getting huge" is a positive thing... for him.

As I continue further down this road to becoming a personal trainer (side note- it's really happening and I am so excited), I have thought a lot more about these concepts and people's motivation to exercise. And as Glennon comments on in her blog, many times- the women are trying to "get smaller" and the men are trying to get stronger. Now can we just put on the brakes here? Can we start a movement? Can we shift our thinking about this a little bit? What if being strong was truly embraced as the new skinny? What if muscles (in women) was the new sexy? Now, I'm not talking body builders here, I'm just talking strength and toned. I mean sure, the Victoria secret models are hot. I get it. But, I bet I could out perform most of them in a workout any day. And I don't mean to come across as arrogant or boastful. I am just trying to drive a point home. I may be stronger, but in our society, that still is insignificant to tall and skinny. Can't we change that?!

Don't get me wrong. I have certainly had my own fair share of body image issues. I have done plenty of trying to shrink. I've starved myself. I've defined myself by the number on the scale or the size of clothing I wear. I have constantly compared my body to other's. I have agonized over the pregnancy weight I was gaining. I have obsessed over the baby weight I still have to lose. I am just as guilty. I still struggle with it. But, I want to put that behind me. I want a new definition of "hot".

And here's some interesting food for thought. I've struggled my whole life feeling like I was "not enough", not good enough, small enough, smart enough, pretty enough, popular enough, etc. Yet, despite feeling like I was not enough, I simultaneously tried to physically shrink. Ironic, huh?

Why are we more focused on those pounds we have to lose than the things we have accomplished?  The first 5K, 10K, 1/2 marathon or triathlon we've competed in seems insignificant when compared with the number on the scale. Those numbers trump climbing a 14er or being able to get through a crossfit, insanity, P90X, or group fitness class. Why do we celebrate the pounds lost more than the growth made? Why don't we celebrate when our muscles grow larger and we can lift more and do more? Why don't we embrace that feeling of being empowered, strong, capable and healthy?

How many times have I been asked, "Why are you doing this workout? You're tiny!" As if the only reason to exercise is to lose weight. What if we recognize that we can workout to gain strength, to get fit, to train, to stretch and push ourselves, to improve our balance and stability, to combat stress and anxiety, to reduce our risks of tons of diseases or developing disabling medical conditions?

We focus on the pounds we have to lose after we have a baby and it diminishes the fact that we made, grew, sustained and birthed a baby! Doesn't that seem crazy? As I have been doing the physical training to become a personal trainer, I have started doing a lot more resistance training. It makes sense considering I will have to be handing clients 70 pound dumb bells or lifting weight plates on and off sleds or bars. I have to be strong enough to spot clients during hard lifts and exercises. So, with that resistance training, the numbers on the scale have gone up.(Muscle weights more than fat). My jeans are tight on my thighs again. My shirts fit a bit differently. When I have admitted this to girlfriends, they look at me in horror. "You're gaining weight? But you're working so hard!". Why is that such a horrible thing? Why can't working hard and gaining weight go together and be a positive thing for females? I AM gaining weight. And I am totally okay with that. I am getting stronger. My endurance is improving. I am more capable. Those are all fantastic things. The benefits this training is doing for me mentally, I cannot even measure how incredible it is for my anxiety/ panic prone personality. Growing.... getting bigger- it's okay. Can't we celebrate those improvements, instead of looking disappointedly at the scale?

Have no worries- if I have future clients that have pounds they wish to lose, areas they want to work on, I will do everything in my power to help them make that possible. We'll discuss nutrition and healthy choices. But, we'll also be celebrating when they can increase the weights they're lifting, when they can get through a workout with less breaks or without quitting. We'll cheer when they can recover faster. We'll celebrate changing of their body composition and measurements. We'll laugh and high five that they're feeling better mentally, that they are gaining self confidence. But, I won't be doing weigh ins. I won't dwell on those numbers.

As a mom of a daughter, I have to think long and hard about what I want to teach her. I don't want her to be depriving herself. I don't want her hungry so that she is not able to play, swim or ride her bike. I don't want her knowing what a "diet" is. I hope she continues to think about going to workout as a means to "get big and strong" or train for some event she's hoping to compete in or improve her performance in her favorite sport or activity.

As I step into this new field of work, I would like to hear your thoughts and ideas on what I just wrote. Why do you workout? What is hot or sexy to you? How do you feel about scales and diets?

Thanks for reading. Enjoy your fall. I'll try to post an update on this new season of life for me in the near future.