lumps of coal

I was listening to this song yesterday by Plumb. I think it's pretty old.  I originally got the song from a dear friend, Kirstin, on a mixed CD she made me when I turned 21. But, I've always loved the song and identified with it. I heard it a bit differently yesterday than I did years ago. That's the beauty of music, right? So many people can connect with it in so many different ways in various times and circumstances during their lives.

Here is part of the song:

Cold is the throne of her hardened heart
No one has seen the softest part
Day after night she holds an ache
And won't budge to show this secret place
Well is it so wrong to hang on to hurt

Maybe she could set it free

If you've been there you know
If you're still there hang on
We're all dealt our lumps of coal
What you do with it can turn beautiful
Well there's a life outside of this madness
And there's a face behind every scar
But there's a love overflowing with gladness
Get out of that place that's restraining your love
I said get out of that place
That's restraining your love



You can read the whole song and listen to it at the link below:
http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/p/plumb/nice_naive_and_beautiful.html

I really love that line, "we're all dealt our lumps of coal, what you do with it can turn beautiful". How true is that? As I think about my own life, I recognize my lumps of coal as well as the ones I've dealt to others. I also look around me and see close friends and families struggling with health problems, infertility, financial stress, relationship strife, marriage struggles, and so much more. I've seen many of these wonderful people turn their coal into beautiful things that make them stronger and radiant. Am I doing the same with mine? Have I in the past? My postpartum depression, struggles with anxiety or panic attacks, eating disorder, hardships as a mom, struggles as a wife or heartache from having divorced parents- have I turned all of those things into something beautiful? I am not sure. Have I been able to see and share the beauty in these things? Have I been grateful in the midst of the "lumps of coal"? Have I let my broken heartedness help others who are suffering.

Honestly, not always. I have tried and probably failed in many areas. I admittedly have a lot of greed, carelessness and apathy inside of me. But I want to choose to turn that coal into diamonds, I want to "get out of the place that restrains my love and see a love overflowing with gladness". I want to be used to emphatically love and help others because of my own demons and scars.

With that being said, I'd love to hear from some of you- if you're willing. I want to know what lumps of coal you've had in your life. How have you turned them into something beautiful? I can keep these stories confidential, or I can publish them anonymously here so that you might help shed some light for someone else- stranger or friend- through your experience. Maybe you've "been there and you know". Maybe you're still there, trying to "hang on", and there is someone who has already walked a similar path that can encourage you.

If you are courageous and want to share, write me an e-mail here:
karialyssam@gmail.com.
Then we can go from there.

“A diamond is a chunk of coal that is made good under pressure.”
-Henry Kissinger