precious gift

rDoesn't she look adorable?!

That's Coranelle- our precious gift. I had a dear friend recently miscarry for the second time, and it just breaks my heart. I cannot possibly fathom the pain she is going through. I can't help but tearfully ask the Lord what He is doing. Why can't this woman, who longs for a child and would be such a wonderful mother, have a baby? When, many women and teenagers get pregnant on accident and aren't looking forward to being a mom. It just seems so wrong and unfair. I love this friend and it just breaks my heart to see her go through this cycle of hope and excitement, only to be followed by despair. I wish so much that there was something I could do to help, to ease the pain. All I can do it choke back tears and stare in awe at my baby, so thankful. I cannot take her for granted. She is currently grabbing and batting at her hanging animals, kicking her feet in excitement. Even if she screams bloody murder through our stroller class today- she is a beautiful, healthy, wonderful, precious gift and I am so thankful. I just keep praying that SOON, my friend receives this gift too. She SO deserves it.

Coranelle and I have been out meeting more mommies this week. We joined a Mom's club in Broomfield with 2 of the other yoga moms. This group of moms has 2 year olds and then some have newborns as well. It is fun to join them at parks and watch the kids play and chat with the other moms. I also went to the mom's group through our church this week and loved the chance to talk with 3 other moms about families, life, our previous lives and jobs, etc. A refreshing group of support.

Speaking of support, my two moms have been so wonderfully supportive! I cannot thank them enough for the love they have showed me as I transition into this new phase of motherhood. It is not an easy change, and my postpartum emotions seem to still be crazy. My closest girlfriends from college are in Texas, California, and Boston. My girlfriends from HS have been very interested and supportive, but live in Aspen and North Carolina. So, I have not had them around to check in on me and see how I'm coping. I realized last night that it has been hard that friends and sisters here have not showed me the care and interest that I may have needed. I think I have struggled with the transition and trying to figure out how to care for a fussy newborn more than I had imagined. But, my moms have been phenomenal! They have come to relieve me for a few hours so I can go shop- they have walked with me and listened to all of my concerns and wonderings about Coranelle's screaming spells. They have rejoiced with me when she smiles, sits up, laughs, or makes little changes. They have listened to me cry when I miss a doctors appointment or go to a party on the wrong day. They have comforted me when I sob to them about Coranelle's melt downs. They have loved me despite my emotion and confusion and insecurity. I just am so thankful that I have them to call up, whenever... to vent or rejoice or ask them questions. Thanks Mom and Heido for being there for me and putting up with me these past few months. I don't know what I would do without you! I also know that this has reminded me/taught me that when my friends and family have kids, that I need to make sure and be very intentional about being supportive and checking in to see how they are handling things and how they are feeling and what I can do to help them out. Without support, being a new mom can be lonely, scary and often somewhat isolating.

This past weekend, Ryan went and got an adapter so that we can put the carseat in the jog stroller. So, now we can take Coranelle for runs. This past week, I ran with her 4 times, twice with Ryan. I am super sore and out of shape for running, but it feels great to run again. She seems to be a bit more content in this stroller too, which is awesome. I love getting to run with Ryan now and again. Ryan has been enjoying coming home to Coranelle and playing with her and seeing her change and grow! He is the greatest dad and husband ever! I am so very lucky to have him! And I am so lucky to be taking care of Coranelle right now, rather than heading back to school. We did go visit my school and my old co-workers this week. I cannot imagine heading back right now. They had a work day on Monday and then back to school night that evening. So, my first day back (if I had gone back) would have meant leaving broomfield at 7am and returning around 10pm! It would have made me SO sad to leave Coranelle for that long. My class this year would have been 29 students! That is overwhelming considering most of them would have been miles below grade level. Last year I had 17 students and it was completely insane to try to get them up to grade level by March testing. All to say, I just love that I can be a mommy right now. My heart swells with love and adoration for Ryan and Coranelle and our lovely little family.

I have to go, Coranelle is bored with her cow and we need to try to get ready for our stroller class. Have a wonderful weekend.

For those of you prayer warriors out there, please keep my friend in your prayers as well as my dad- who is currently getting some additional testing done before he starts his rounds of Chemo, hormonal treatment and radiation. Thanks!