We've had a few really frustrating nights with Coranelle and I cannot figure out where I have gone wrong. We have done the usual when preparing for bed: Bath, lotion, PJ's, brush teeth, put oragel on sore gums, vics vapor rub for the remnants of the cold, read two books of Coranelle's choosing, prayers, pacifier, blanket, Doodle (the beloved stuffed dog), tuck in and rub her back while listening to music. Yes, that's the bedtime routine... to me- it seems plenty lengthy, but it's what she's come to expect, so I don't at all mind the half and hour + it takes. The thing is, she is not going to sleep. We haven't changed naps or bedtimes, so we put her down about 5 hours after she gets up from her nap (7:30ish). Given, she's never been one to fall asleep right away. We generally hear her kicking or talking for up to an hour. But, these past few nights, she's not just talking, she's screaming out "Mommy, Daddy". She's crying (hard) and then throwing out her pacifiers and standing up. We've been going in to try to get her to lay down and rub her back again, but she wont lie still- or else she'll scream out for me if Ryan goes in (which is frustrating for both of us). The last two nights, I have even cuddled with her for a bit before putting her down, singing and rocking her. But then she doesn't want to go in her crib. So, the question is, what now? Why this sudden resistance to bedtime? She's not in pain or anything because once you go in her room and pick her up, she's fine. She's just so smart. I'll go in frustrated and she'll want to kiss me and hug me and she'll say "cuddle?" in the cutest way ever. But, I know that her demanding nature has to change. For one, I'd love to have some down time after she goes to bed where I can relax and talk with my husband. Secondly, once the baby arrives, I know I'll be nursing him and getting him settled once she's down and I cannot be going back to her room multiple times. So, we decided we'll just have to sleep train her again and once we leave, we're done. It sounds so harsh, but going in to comfort her is not helping. It's been after 9 each night when she's finally asleep. Thus, I think this week, we'll be letting her cry it out, all over again. Yikes! Any suggestions or thoughts?
I often watch my kid and wonder what I did to influence her to be this demanding, or "encompassing" as my aunt said. I saw a friend this week who tried putting her 14 month old in the church child care for the first time and her daughter did awesome. No hesitation, no problem. Can I remind you, it took us almost 9 months of getting called out of church or rec center activities before Coranelle stayed in. She has recently been fighting that too- crying for a while when I hand her over. Where is this coming from? I have to try to stay strong and continue doing it because I know it's good for both of us. But what happened to her just walking in and saying "bye bye"? Is it just a stage? Talking on the phone is next to impossible because she is either trying to grab it or yell over me. If we are not talking to her or singing with her in the car, she has a terrible time sitting still or sitting quietly. Does she truly understand that her life is going to drastically change when her baby brother arrives, so she is being extra clingy? Is that why she so often still insists on being "UP"? I am just not sure. I'd love to hear some thoughts and advice on how to proceed and how to prepare her for the arrival of her brother in just over 3 months.
3 comments:
Maybe 7:30 is too early of a bed time for her? On nights when Leah's really resisted bed time, we'll take her out and let her play for 20 mins or so and then try putting her back to bed and it usually goes a lot smoother the second time. Also maybe try to slowly shorten the bedtime routine. I've found with Leah that the longer I take to put her down, the more she resists. Hope this helps!
I like Nick and Ashleigh's suggestion. Maybe put her down JUST a half hour later???? She doesn't sound like she is tired enough to go right to sleep. Oh, I can SO see her doing this! Bring her over here for a night and let her spend the night with Adele and Steve! We would like that!
i can feel your frustration and worry in this post. i know i've told you this before, but i remember crying while trying to get tristan to sleep, wondering how in the world i was going to do it when samuel was born.
first of all, i don't think that coranelle's personality is a result of anything you have done or encouraged. she is simply a very spirited child. have you heard of or read the book "raising your spirited child"? the author's last name is kurcinka and i would suggest googling it and reading some reviews. i picked it up from the library back when tristan was having a ton of sleep issues, and i found it helpful, even though he's more sensitive than spirited.
when it comes to figuring out what changed to make your baby react differently to sleep, well i've been the queen of disecting those situations in the past. i've since learned that not everything can be explained. kids just keep growing and going through different phases. just because samuel slept through the night when he was 9 months old hasn't meant that he continues to do that....tristan was the same way. he'd have a great rhythm going and then one day something would change and it would all get messed up. its really hard, especially the sleep part. but i think the key in sleep training is to do something you are comfortable with and to STICK WITH IT! that is the toughest part.
praying for you, kari. let us know how it all goes.
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