some advice

Watching the drummers on Pearl Street with daddy!
Picking out all the green toys at the toy store.
Wearing her tutu for her friend's birthday party.
Helping me make Chocolate chip cookies
Hanging out at Grams and PopPops' while I was at the dentist.
Digging for toys.
Being cute!
A nice seat!

Hello and welcome to the new private blog. I have invited some people that I know have never read, but I invited all the new moms in my life in hopes that I can occasionally get some advice from you and we can create a little network of support.

So, to any of you (moms or not) who have a free moment and have any thoughts on the following- I'd love your advice.

1. Coranelle is going through a stage where sharing seems to be impossible- especially her own toys in her own home. It is very frustrating and I just am not sure how to deal with it. This morning, she had a little friend over and everything her friend touched or tried to play with, Coranelle grabbed from her and said "Coranelle's". I tried to coax her into other activities and toys, but she kept taking toys from her and then hoarding them in a little pile near where she was sitting. She would get aggressive and pushy if her friend took things from her. I felt like I said, "Give Anna a turn" about a thousand times. We have talked about sharing, playing together and have even been reading books about sharing. What else do I do? I have done time-outs when she takes toys and made her play by herself in her room. What other techniques are there out there? I know most kids do this around this age, but I'd love to know if there is a better way to handle it. My patience gets worn thin. Can I blame it on pregnancy?

2. Breast pumps- I was talking to a few moms at Mops yesterday about weaning their kids from nursing. They all talked about some pretty intense pain when they stopped nursing. Even though Coranelle stopped nursing-cold turkey... I never really hurt. A little, but not much. So, it makes me realize I didn't have much milk. So, second go-around, I'd like to monitor that better. I just had a hand pump with Coranelle and didn't really feel the need for much more as I wasn't going back to work. I am still not going back to work, but it is one of our priorities that Sheldon will take a bottle. That means, I'll need to do some pumping. Not tons, just once a day or so. So,I'd like to purchase one. We've had offers to reuse other people's, but Ryan is dead set against it, and I respect that. So, we looking to buy one. I am not sure if I need a single, or double. But, I want an electric. I don't know which brand is best, but we're looking to spend less than $100. Thoughts? Advice on when to pump? How often?

3. Double stroller- I don't think we will use this too often, as Coranelle's patience for a stroller is never more than about 15 minutes (if we're lucky). But, it seems like it would be good to have for trips to the park or zoo or in and out of places in the winter. We don't need anything fancy. I'd rather have front to back than side to side. We're hoping to spend less than $150. Any recommendations or words of caution? I am clueless.

4. Related to pregnancy- Baby Sheldon's head seems to rest right about my sciatic nerve. I have mentioned this before. Last night, after swimming some laps, I was taking a shower and Sheldon shoved his head into my nerve. I literally collapsed onto the tile floor because my leg gave out. What do I do about this? All my doctor suggested was doing some cat/cow yoga positions. Don't you think that it would be so much better if full-term was 35 weeks rather than 40? Being this uncomfortable seems unnecessary. Any other suggestions?

Thanks for the feedback.

Here's my little praise for my peanut this week. We went to her friend's 2nd birthday party this past weekend and he received a green strider bike from his grandparents. Coranelle saw it and was SO excited about it! She even attempted to ride it in the midst of the party chaos and did wonderfully. She is really looking forward to getting her "OWN" from baby Sheldon. Ryan already has it and put it together for her and I wonder if he'll be able to wait until the baby arrives to give it to her. She's going to have so much fun. Every day we hear - "GREEEEN bike, baby Sheldon. Green helmet (as she pats her head). Mommy- Daddy help-A-you.". Pretty cute!

preparing for Sheldon

Racing her cars- excited to have Sheldon race with her someday.
A few pictures of Sheldon's room in progress.

Before I start this post- please let me know if you’d like to continue reading my blog. I am working on making it private, so e-mail me at karialyssam@gmail.com if you’d like to continue reading. For a full, lengthy explanation of why, read the last post!

I am now 31 ½ weeks along! How did that happen? Are we really going to have a son in 8 weeks or less? We are getting really excited. I am personally starting to feel really tired of being pregnant. You know when it even hurts to sleep? Yup, I am there. The achy hips, the really sore back, a very tight belly, and a sometimes ruthless little kicking boy inside. Sheldon feels bigger than Coranelle was, as if he is taking up more space inside me- if that is possible. When he moves around he scrapes my insides and now has been pinching some nerves in my legs and back. But, I know now that this is the easy part and he is still in there, being fed, clothed, changed, and cared for- so to speak. The really hard part is when he arrives!

Fortunately, Ryan has been awesome and faithful to giving me a backrub every day. My horseshoe pillow handed down from a friend has made sleep possible (which is amazing) and I have a massage scheduled for next weekend! And, I really don’t have the rights to complain as I have had healthy weight gain, good blood pressure and urine samples, and no real complications to speak of. So, praise God for that!

Coranelle is getting very excited for baby Sheldon to arrive. She has not yet mastered her “s”, so when she talks about Sheldon, it sounds more like “Law-don”. The other night, I was giving her a bath and asked her if she would like to share a bath with Sheldon when he gets older. She got really excited and started patting the water next to her, saying “Lawdon sit. Coranelle help. Coranelle rinse, Coranelle wash. Soap”. I told her that she would be very helpful, as long as she was gentle. She suddenly got impatient, got onto her knees, peered at my belly and started yelling “Lawdon out. Lawdon out now. Bath”. Many times in the past few days, she’ll look at my belly and say, “Lawdon OUT!”. I think she’ll be an awesome big sister. She’s been telling me how she”ll help “Tuck” him in, “cuddle” with him, “uug him” and “elp Lawdon NEEEW dipa” – which means, she’ll help get Sheldon new diapers. She’s excited to race her cars with him and wrap him up in blankets to keep him warm. We’ve also told Coranelle that when Sheldon comes, he is going to give her a green bike. (We’ve heard that a gift from the arriving sibling can help the adjustment). She is so excited about the bike, she asks me about it daily. “Lawdon- greeeeen bike. Daddy elp ride”. She knows what the bikes look like because she and Ryan have watched Utube videos of young toddlers learning to use their Strider bikes for the first time. And of course, the bike HAS to be green, because, well, it wouldn’t be Coranelle’s if it wasn’t. Ryan asks me every day when he can order the bike for her. He’s just like a little kid! Coranelle points out bikes and helmets everywhere and in any book she spots them in. It will be so fun to watch and help teach her to ride a bike.

Ryan wanted me to have some time and opportunities to focus on Sheldon, rather than always Coranelle. So, he and the moms are working on organizing a little baby “sprinkle” for me and I am excited to celebrate with some other moms and girlfriends. Also in the works is a cleaning day for the Mork household. When I say cleaning, I mean a huge, scrubbing, all-out deep clean. See, Ryan’s aunt loves to clean and is awesome at it. She has an eye for what needs to be done and how to do it. So, she, Ryan’s uncle, Ryan’s parents and my mom have all graciously volunteered to come make our house spotless for the arrival of a baby. I am SO excited. See, I clean. I really do. I clean bathrooms, and sweet and mop almost daily. I sanitize counters, vacuum, do laundry, all that. But, I don’t get around to the big stuff- like cleaning the oven, or behind the fridge and washer and dryer. I rarely think to dust. But, when the cleaners come, all this will get done, plus carpet cleaning and I’ve heard, even the outlets are cleaned out with toothpicks and Q’tips. How awesome is that?! My nesting will be done for me (at least the part that involves heavy lifting and stuff I don’t particularly love to do). How spoiled are we?!

Coranelle has also had multiple sleepovers with both sets of grandparents recently. She has a total blast and it is a great break for us. Having done this pretty often is making me feel pretty relaxed about being away from her for a few nights/days while in the hospital. I think it’s been great to have some trial runs and see how well she does. It will help me focus on Sheldon and worry less about how Coranelle is doing.

So that’s the update on baby #2. We’re getting anxious to meet him.

I hope you are all doing well!

Below are the predictions for Sheldon's birthday and birth weight. We'll see who gets the closest. If you want to add your thoughts, leave a comment and I'll keep a running list. Anyone think I'll deliver in March? Or have an 8lb baby? Or deliver 2 weeks late?

Derrick- 4/10 7lb 4oz

Kari- 4/12 7lb 3oz, 4:30pm

Josh- 4/12 6lb 8oz, 10am

Lesley- 6lb 12oz

Lauren- 4/13 7lb 4oz

Claire- 4/13 6lb 9oz

Ryan- 4/14 7lb

Bruce- 4/14 6lb 14oz, 4:30pm

Adele- 4/15 7lb 13oz

Grandma Marcia- 4/15 7lb 2oz

Heido- 4/15 7lb 4oz

Going private- please send me a note if you want to continue reading

So, I am working on making my blog private. I have been considering it for some time now and think it would be the right decision for the protection of my family and my writing. One of my other blogging friends recently walked me through how to check the stats on who visits my blog. Although I cannot see exactly who sees it, it is very clear that there are far more readers than I imagined- reading from countries far and wide. At first, I wasn’t too alarmed at the wide spread of countries from which my readers came from. After all, I studied abroad after high school and met students and friends from almost 80 different countries and have befriended many over time on facebook. Regardless, I kept checking the stats and discovered there were readers from places that I am positive I have never met the readers. That makes me uncomfortable when I am pouring my heart out as well as proudly displaying pictures of my very adorable and innocent daughter.

On top of the security/safety issue, I have decided I don’t really want my blog to be a site for people to visit when they are bored and have nothing better to do. That sounds really harsh, but I get the impression that acquaintances are reading my blog whom hardly know me at all. And, while that seems harmless, if you don’t know my heart, my family, or me I think my thoughts, feelings, ventings, and intentions can be easily misread or misinterpreted. I have gotten wind of these misinterpretations lately and I half considered quitting my blog altogether. But, I decided against it.

Let me explain: when I fist became pregnant, I started reading my friend Heidi’s blog and I learned all about her son and baby on the way. I loved and still love to read about her journey through motherhood and the joy and challenges that life brings her way. I love her honesty and transparency. She writes beautifully about what she is laughing and crying over and what she is learning. When I started my own blog, I vowed to emulate her blogging style. I wanted to be open and honest, as it is a trait that I very much appreciate in my friends and family. Too often in life, we come across people that pretend like everything is always sunny, happy and perfect- people who rarely admit that they are struggling with their self image, their marriage, their job, their relationships, their children or their faith. I, personally, have been put off by these kinds of people in the past and would prefer to be real. I figure that if I am real and admit my struggles and my own personal flaws, the people around me will also feel that they are allowed to be real. They don’t have to pretend that every day of their pregnancy is comfortable, fun and smiles. My hope is that they don’t have to pretend to be strong when they really need a place to break down or vent.

I suppose over time, my “mission statement” for my blog has become to create a place that other parents, new moms, expectant parents, etc can visit to feel some camaraderie in this huge aspect of our lives. I want them to read about things that they can empathize with, and feel like they are not alone in their experiences, expectations or feelings- whether those feelings are of utter joy or pure frustration and heartbreak. I have heard from other moms that it has been helpful to read posts about what my pregnancy, delivery, and the first months of Coranelle’s life were like. I hope that my blog continues to be helpful or insightful in that way. (That is certainly not to say that, if you aren’t a parent, you aren’t welcome to read my blog. It is just a warning that most of my posts will be related to being a parent or a stay-at-home mom.) It is also a place for me to vent, as I always gain some perspective as I am writing. It is a place for me to share my own struggles, our joys, my worries, concerns, hopes, fears and dreams. It is a place that I will often call out for advice to other mothers or friends. I don’t want to change that. I don’t want to make my blog purely a place for me to talk about what we did over the weekend, or how much my kids weigh. I have other outlets for that kind of information.

Too often recently, I have felt misunderstood on my blog. I have heard from others around me that- acquaintances read my blog and worry about how I am doing or didn’t like something I said. But, I want my blog to be a place that people can come to and if they have those worries or have been offended, they can contact me directly, or leave a comment. It feels too impersonal right now- like too many people have windows into my soul and are making their own judgments about who I am as a wife, mother and person.

For those people who really know me and spend time with us, I think they understand that I am often simply “venting” on my blog about a particular experience or stage that we are going through. They don’t question my sanity nor my tenacious and fierce love and adoration for my daughter and family. They understand that I am not probably going to make random posts about my day to day shopping trip with my daughter. Something has to motivate me to write- whether that be a celebration, something that Coranelle did that was super funny, cute or made me proud, or something that has made me cry, or something I am learning. Does that make sense?

That being said, if you would like to continue reading my blog and seeing pictures of Coranelle (and soon- Sheldon)- please send me your e-mail address. You can write me with your address at karialyssam@gmail.com . You will receive an invitation from Google, or my blog that requests that you sign in and accept the invite (I am not quite sure yet exactly how it works). But, if you don’t send me your e-mail address, within the next month or so, you will no longer have access to the blog.

"Real is something we become gradually, as we face life vulnerably, returning to God over and over and finding ourselves loved, even when life hurts, when it does not make sense, when we are angry and afraid."- Brenda Waggoner

Thanks for reading that long explanation. I hope you are all doing really well.

And now, for a little celebration- Today at gymnastics, Coranelle was bold enough to hang onto a ring 7 feet off the ground ( by herself) and swing out over the foam pit. (It’s kind of like a zipline). Not many of the kids will attempt it, or aren’t quite strong enough to hold on alone, but after watching a few kids do it for the last 4 classes, she jumped in and did it. It scared her to death to fall into the pit, but she bounced back quickly and also impressed my by venturing through the tunnels in the obstacle course for the first time ever. It’s so amazing to see her growing up so quickly!

So happy playing with her matchbox cars!

a few good lessons from big bro

After a fun time swimming, wearing her new outfit from Adele.

So, I talked to my big brother today. He told me that sometimes they (he and his wife) read my blog and worry that I'm losing it. So, just to reassure you all, I'm not losing it. We have had some rough periods, but we really are doing well and are happy.

Here's what I learned from my phone conversation with my bro-
1.
I NEED to ask for help more. I must admit, I have such a hard time with this. I feel like my job is to stay home and care for Coranelle, so I have a hard time admitting that I cannot do it on my own at times. But, I have so many people who are willing and ready to help out. I am really so lucky to have so many great people around us. I apologize to the MANY of you who have offered to watch Coranelle or help out and I haven't taken you up on it. I'm am going to really work on this.

2.
I am too much of a control freak. Really, I am. My whole life, I have had a plan. Really, every day I have a plan and a schedule and expectations. For most of my life, things have gone as planned and I have felt relatively, in control. But, Coranelle- well, I cannot control her. Every day, there's something new and unexpected. Things often don't go as planned. And, as Stefan pointed out, it is really good for me. It is my life lesson in learning how to be more flexible, and have less plans and expectations. It is teaching me to enjoy the good moments and treasure the fun times. I need to let it teach me how to lean on other people more and let go. I need to stop leaving my daughter with people and giving detailed instructions about which color spoon she likes to eat with, which socks she wears to bed, what snack she eats after a nap, etc. etc. I am going to work on allowing days to go by without such a schedule and a plan. I am writing all of this down to help me be accountable- but it is hard to change.

Thanks to my mom and brother for helping me realize these things. Thanks to all of you who are always there for us and willing to help.

Now, on a much lighter note... we got Sheldon's new crib delivered today- a gift from Heido and Poppa Bruce. Once it is assembled, I will take and post pictures of his room- which is looking really, really cute!

Second, the picture above is of me at 30 weeks. 10 weeks until we meet the little guy!

Lastly, Coranelle did better at the rec center childcare yesterday. She still wanted to be up for about half the time, but she did better. We are working on ways to let her "see" what I am doing while I am cooking, without me having to hold her. Keep her in her prayers as she prepares for her little brother's arrival. Keep me in your prayers- that I can stay strong when I make her terribly sad by refusing to hold her.