playing catch up

Christmas morning at Bruce and Heidi's
Coranelle's awesome new turtle toy!
Checking out the giraffe in daddy's new mug
Facinated by the wrapping paper, and not so much her presents.
Playing with dad at our Munson family gathering in Colorado Springs
Getting up on those knees and rocking, trying to crawl.

Enjoying the bowl- once again more interested in everything but her toys and gifts.
Talking to her new book at Gammadele and GPS's (Grandpa Steve) house

We are recovering today from Coranelle's first Christmas. We have been all over the place in the past four days and today we're finally home for walks, naps, and unpacking gifts and cleaning. Coranelle did a great job. We spent Christmas eve and morning with Ryan's parents. Coranelle loved the wrapping paper and the lights. She got all sorts of great new books, toys and clothes and is a spoiled baby! Grandparents, aunts, and uncles more than made up for the fact that Ryan and I didn't buy her anything.

We had a great time with family over the last few days! We went up to Longmont for Christmas dinner and got to see Amanda (who is back from Haiti for a quick break), Stefan, Rebecca, Rachael and mom and Steve. We had a good time catching up and playing catch phrase. Saturday, we went to a graduation/engagement party in Louisville and then we went back to Longmont to have dinner with my parents and some old family friends. Yesterday, we spent the whole day down in Colorado Springs with my mom's side of the family. We went for a beautiful walk and got to see all the aunts, uncles and cousins. So, it has been busy. But, Coranelle held up really well. She still did not really want to be held by anyone. My mom held her for about half and hour Christmas day while we were playing a game. That was a great break for me, but I wish she would do it more often. My mom and I agreed that Coranelle has a lot of love. She is affectionate with Ryan and me, giving us lots of smiles and laughs. But, she just needs to share that love. I truly wonder when this clingy, stranger anxiety phase will end. It has been going on since early October. I know it won't last forever, but I am anxious for others to be able to take her and enjoy her.

We truly enjoyed her on her first Christmas. Despite the weariness that all the driving, packing up, and family time can bring- we had a wonderful Christmas. We enjoyed every minute of our time together as a new family. On Christmas eve, Coranelle had an outfit on that made her look like a little present. Ryan and I agreed that she was our best gift this Christmas and we are so thankful for our squirmy, stubborn, energetic, adorable baby.

In other news, Coranelle is now getting up on her knees and rocking. She wants to crawl, but cannot lift her arm up and stay up. She just flops back onto her belly. I am also slowly working on getting her down for naps and eventually bedtime without being swaddled. She sleeps so well swaddled. Actually, she nurses really well when I get her up and just nurse her swaddled too. That way, she cannot be reaching for my hair, my watch, my sleeves- everything, while nursing. But, I know I cannot keep swaddling her forever. It seems time. I have tried a few naps in her crib without swaddling her. She rolls over onto her tummy and can put her pacifier in and pass out. The first few times I tried, she cried for 12-16 minutes and then fell asleep. But, she only slept for 1/2 an hour and woke up crying- startled. I would love advice from any of you moms on how you went about training your babies to sleep without being a little glow worm.

This week, we have another busy week. I have some great girlfriends home for the holidays that I will be catching up with. It is also Josh's birthday. We'll be headed up to Estes Park for a New Years eve party and then we have a wedding to attend to on Saturday. Go go go!

I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas! Lots of love and hugs!

special moments

Today was our Christmas service at church. Flatirons doesn't do services on Christmas Eve or Christmas day, just the weekend before. Once you let go of the tradition of going to a candle lit service on Christmas Eve, it makes sense. The reason for this is that after this weekend, the pastors, employees and volunteers have some time off to be with their families- which I think is great. Further, "church" is not a place, it is us, a body of people. Just because we don't have a church service, does not mean that we cannot continue being a church, or a light, outside those building walls.
Anyhow, we went to the earliest service, hoping it wouldn't be really crowded. So, we chose the 3:30pm service on Saturday. We decided to try to put Coranelle in the nursery so that we could sit with Ryan's family. When we got to the nursery, Coranelle had been fed and had a nap and there were lots of friendly volunteers waiting to love on her. There are plenty of new and exciting toys and all of this should make an hour "doable" for her. But, before the sermon had even begun, our number was called and we had to go pick Coranelle up. Despite the fact that there were thousands of people at the service (literally), ours was the only number to get called the whole time. The cry room was jam packed, so we decided to try our luck sitting in the very back of the sanctuary with Coranelle on our laps. She did great. She jabbered a bit here and there, but the people sitting around us seemed gracious and just smiled at her. When we started to sing the last hymn and everyone was lighting their candles, we decided to go back and join Ryan's family. Coranelle was absolutely calm and cherub-like as she watched the people around her and the many glowing flames. She clung to me and looked around, almost as if she knew she was taking part in something much bigger, much more powerful and significant than herself. I teared up as I watched her, quite thankful that I was able to hold her during that priceless moment, rather than have her in the nursery with a stranger. God has a way of surprising you with special, unexpected blessings. Yes, I wish Coranelle would learn to trust the people in the nursery so we could go to church. But, this time last year, I was anxiously anticipating the chance to hold my baby. I don't want to take Coranelle for granted, nor the time I have with her as a baby. It is hard at times, sure. I never expected this much time of motherhood to be centered around trying to keep her happy. I knew our lives would change. I knew our friends would shift, our schedules, etc. I just never imagined it to be an all consuming task to keep my wee one content. But she was this afternoon, even if the string of Christmas songs was brief. Without her pacifier, she was totally and utterly happy to listen to all of us sing about the joy of Christ's birth. And I will cherish those brief minutes forever. It seems fitting that at Christmas time, one of the most meaningful moments I've experienced is one with a helpless and innocent baby.

Christmas

Split second of cuddling. And, Coranelle has finally started enjoying stuffed animals. She likes her bunny. We call him Mr. Pib. He was a gift from the Pottery Barn and has PB embroidered on his foot. He is exactly Coranelle's size right now.
Her new jean jumper from Grammadele. Very cute!
Laughing away. I love this picture!

I got the idea to do this questionnaire from Heidi's blog (www.nothingbutbluesky.blogspot.com). But, she called it a Christmas meme. And to be completely honest, I have never heard of a meme, nor do I know what it is. So, I am calling it a questionnaire. Nonetheless, I thought it was a fun idea, so here goes...

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
Mostly wrapping paper. It is fun to see all of the unique kinds of paper that family and friends pick out. Although, for those really awkward, hard to wrap gifts, a gift bag is okay. Especially if you are re-using them and have so many hoarded up in your basement that your husband wants you to sort through them and throw a bunch away.

2. Real or Fake Tree?
I liked our real tree as a kid, when we had one. But, we have a fake one now, and I like it just fine. We only have to spend money on it once, and saving money when we are living on one salary seems like a crucial thing. The ornaments and lights make it unique and special. And, I think Coranelle likes the one we have.

3. When do you put up the tree?
Usually we put it up after Thanksgiving or early December. I love turning it on at night and reading under a blanket by the twinkling lights.

4. When do you take the tree down?
After New Years, I think. It's only the second year we have had our own tree.

5. Do you like eggnog?
Not at all. Hot chocolate, apple cider, gingerbread latte, sure... but not eggnog. I once ordered a vanilla shake at McDonalds and got eggnog instead and it was a huge disappointment.

6. Favorite gift received as a child?
We got a pipeworks set (I think that was what it was called) as kids. These were large, various sizes pvc type pipes and hinges, platforms, wheels, etc. We could make lifesize cars, slides, tunnels, etc. It was a great activity for the four of us to build together. It is the one toy I really remember receiving. I wish they still made them so we could get them for Coranelle some day. Does anyone else remember these?

7. Do you have a nativity scene?
Nope. But, I used to enjoy arranging our glass nativity scene when mom was decorating for Christmas. I don't mind nativity scenes, but have thought about them differently this year after some of our recent sermons. The nativity scenes make the night of Jesus' birth seem very safe and pristine. Yet, when you think about Mary going into labor in a dark, cold, dirty cave- without a midwife, or doctor or any help, it's pretty terrifying. Soon after, Herod was calling for all infant boys to be murdered. And, the shepherds and wise men had not yet heard of Jesus' birth. I cannot imagine the fear and pain that Mary and Joseph were dealing with on that Holy night. It was pretty scary for me, and I had multiple nurses, a OBGYN, my husband, two moms, a hospital room, and modern technology aiding me. It makes me realize how humbly Jesus came into this world. I am not sure nativity scenes really capture that for me.
Hopefully, I did not just offend anyone. I am just thinking aloud.

8. Hardest person to buy for?
Steve and Rebecca. Rebecca knows what she wants and I don't often get it right. Steve rarely needs anything, and won't make requests. They're hard!

9. Easiest person to buy for?
Ryan- I listen throughout the year to little things that spike his interest and stash away ideas here and there. I have a hard time sticking to my budget.

10. Worst Christmas gift you ever got?
I desperately wanted some overalls when I was in 4th grade. They were in style. My stepmom at the time picked them out for me. She didn't have any girls and she meant well, I know she did. But, the overalls didn't have a big. They just had straps like suspenders. I didn't have the heart to exchange them, even though I was very disappointed. So, I wore them to school. I got teased a lot. I felt obligated to keep wearing them because they were a gift and a nice brand. Every time I put them on, I dreaded the day ahead.

11. Mail or email Christmas cards?
I love getting them in the mail. My mom used to hang a red ribbon on the sides of the doorway into the kitchen and pin the cards up as we got them. I loved reading the letters and looking at the pictures every day, hanging along the doorway. I still love to get them and hang them on the fridge and comment on how grown-up everyone's kids are getting.

12. Favorite Christmas Movies?
The Holiday, Love Actually, The Polar Express

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
November... or when I get inspired by a fun gift idea(which might be in June)

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
Don't think so

15. Favorite things to eat at Christmas?
Pepperkaka cookies, because they remind me of my Grandma Corky and of making cookies with my mom. Plus, they smell so delicious! Mom came to spend the day with us this past Friday and we made them. I enjoyed rolling them out, using fun cookie cutters, tasting the cinnamony dough and chatting with mom.
And, hot chocolate, made with milk and with whipped cream on top.

16. Colored or clear lights on the tree?
Colored. And, I love the big bulbs. But, I do have fond memories of our chili pepper lights as a kid.

17. Favorite Christmas songs?
Oh Holy Night

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
Stay at home. I love waking up and coming downstairs to open stockings and have breakfast in our flannel pj's.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer?
Dasher, dancer, prancer, Vixen, Commet, Cupid, Donner, Blitsen, and the most famous reindeer of all- Rudolf
Not sure I spelled those right.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?
Whatever you have. We don't have a tree topper, and I don't mind.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
Christmas Eve with the Morks. Christmas Day with my family. Stockings Christmas morning.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year?
Everyone acting as if Christmas is about buying things. I really dislike that. And, I dislike that so often, the holidays bring about stress and family tension.

23. What do you enjoy most about Christmas?
Being with my family. I like that Ryan takes time off and we can spend time together as a family. I like going to church and singing hymns. I also like getting together with friends for dinners and catching up. This year, it will be fun to have Coranelle's first Christmas. I also like the chance to step back to reflect and remember the significance of our Savior's birth.

24. How did you find out about Santa?
I think that it was at lunch, in 3rd grade. I think I knew in the back of my mind that Santa wasn't real. But, my friend Lauren started teasing me and Erin about still believing. I remember being disappointed that I could no longer pretend that he came to fill our stockings every year. I actually remember getting into a heated fight about it. Now, it brings back smiles. Love you Lauren! Do you remember that?


So, that was fun! Feel free to copy and paste your own "meme". I hope this week is full of all of the good things that Christmas beholds.

Things that make me smile

Here are a few things that have made me smile in the last few days:

1. Sitting by the fire with my family while it is snowing outside (we did a lot of that this weekend)

2. The fact that Coranelle let Lesley and Heido hold her this weekend without much fuss!

3. Our Charlie Brown Christmas tree and its bright lights that Coranelle is so excited about.

4. My new sponge mop and the yummy, natural, lavender cleaner I bought. Is it sad that I am so happy about a mop? I have chosen not to use the swiffer mops because they have crazy chemicals in them that I would rather not have my soon-to-be crawling daughter getting all over her hands (and mouth). So, I found an "old fashioned" mop and some great cleaner and it makes me so happy to have clean and good smelling floors.

5. The perfect baby food I made this weekend. It's Gerber smooth- unlike my peas and carrots. Ryan bought me some butternut and acorn squash this weekend and I have made tons of creamy, smooth baby food. Coranelle really likes it and that makes me happy.

6. Living in Broomfield. I was at the Rec Center today, just walking around the track inside since it is 7 degrees out. Sometimes, walking around in tiny circles and pushing a stroller can get rather boring. But, I never fail to be amazed by how friendly people are in Broomfield. As I was walking/running, other walkers and runners were talking to me and making converstation about Coranelle. I ended up having fun conversations with quite a few elderly couples out for a walk.

7. Which Wich makes me happy. It is a sandwich shop out here that I really enjoy. When you choose your sandwich, you fill out all of the options on a paper bag with a magic marker. Then, as your sandwich is made, your bag slides along a "clothesline". When your sandwich is done, they put it in your bag. They are very yummy, as are their shakes. We went last night with Bruce and Heido and I got a delcious Caprese sandwich and Ryan and I shared a Chocolate shake.

8. Evenings like last night. Bruce and Heido came out in the snow to have dinner with us and hang out by the fire. We chatted and played with Coranelle. I really appreciate when people are willing to just hang out with us and our baby- especially since having a baby seems to have excluded us from many of the previous hang out invitations we used to receive.

9. Shopping for Christmas presents for people and finding little things that I think will make people smile.

10. Reading Harry Potter. I never read them before now and I am currently reading the last book. They are turning into books that I can sit in bed and read late into the night. Very fun!

11. When people post comments on my blog. It's always a fun surprise to check back to a posting and see a friend or family members thoughts waiting there for me!

That's all for now. Hope you are all enjoying your holiday season.

1/2 a year old!

Everything goes in the mouth!
Having some peas and carrots on Thanksgiving with Grams. She didn't eat much. Too many people for Coranelle!
Sitting up all by herself and playing with that pacifier. New hoodie from Grandmadele.

Last night when Ryan came home from work, Coranelle abruptly ended her nursing session to show her dad how happy she was to see him. He's been home for a week, so when he left for work yesterday, we both missed him a lot. Upon coming through that door, he received lots of smiles, laughs, excited squeals and arms and legs flapping. It was really very precious. On Sunday night, while baking monkey bread, we were listening to some tango music. The three of us had a little dancing session around the kitchen. While I was unsuccessfuly trying to follow Ryan's lead and holding our beaming daughter, I took a mental picture of the scene. I will remember those simple, precious moments forever.

This past Sunday, Bruce and Heido came over to watch Coranelle while Ryan and I went to watch New Moon. Yes, I admit it. I read the whole Twilight series and loved it. And Ryan has already been kind enough to watch the first movie of the series with me at home. On a side note, I really enjoyed the movie. I think that the books are well written and the movies are well donw with some unique cinematography. Despite the fact that the books are vampire romances, there are some famous themes- family fueds, tragic love stories, etc. that make them relatable and enjoyable. So, we made a little date out of it. I was worried about Coranelle crying the whole time for Bruce and Heidi, seeing as crying is an understatement for what she has done every time I tried to hand her off to anyone in the past week. But, they played with her on a blanket for a long time and she never got fussy. Then, she took a nap for them. It was great to get away for a little bit and know that she wasn't screaming the whole time (which I knew from periodic texts from Heidi). Ryan and I know that we have to work on leaving her more often so that she gets used to it. I am never worried about her safety when we leave her with our parents. I know they will do an awesome job with her. I just worry about other peoples' sanity with my touchy child. Coranelle also made it through the church service again on Saturday night. The nursery workers said she only cried half of the time this time. So, we're getting better. :-)

We went to the doctor yesterday for Coranelle's 6 month check-up and tons of immunizations. She immediately melts down when she sees the nurse. Does she know that they are going to come put her in pain shortly?! She now weighs 13 lbs, 5 ounces. I was just hoping for 12 lbs, 12 ounces (which is doubling her birth weight). So, I was pleased. Apparently though, she has moved from the 9th to the 6th percentile. I explained to the pediatrician that she nurses every three hours still, and eats solids twice a day. When I try to nurse her in smaller time spans, she refuses. So, he admitted that she will probably just be a skinny girl. She is now 26 1/4 inches long ( 66% percentile) and her head is in the 58th percentile. Coranelle did great with our pediatrician, talking and playing with his tongue depressor. It was nice to be able to talk to him without her screaming. Ahhh, we have come so far since the first few months. Other than her low birth weight, she doing well except for her sensative skin and some rough spots. We are thankful for a healthy, growing girl. She is now sitting up all on her own for long periods of time. She can grab her pacifier and put it in her mouth the correct way. She is taking lots of interest in peoples' faces and is very aware of the world around her. This morning, she was showing interest in her stuffed animals and music boxes for the first time. It is very fun to see her growing up. Next steps are mastering that sippy cup, and getting over this stranger/separation anxiety.

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!

Pictures!

Practicing sitting up while on vacation. The wipes are such a cool toy! She can sit pretty well now!
All by myself Momma! Wow, they grow up fast!
Checking out the whole scene in the Glenwood Hot Springs.
I think she liked it!
Mom and daughter.
Ryan and Coranelle hanging out at the coffee shop while we wandered town.
Taking a chilly walk through the canyon.
Our cabin in a very beautiful location!
The favorite toy!
Reading in our cozy little cabin!

vacation

I write today's post from our little cabin in Glenwood Springs. Coranelle is taking her afternoon nap (hopefully) and Ryan and I are enjoying some down time. We are both reading Harry Potter and love the chance to read and relax a little. Ryan took the whole week off for Thanksgiving, and I am very thankful for that. I think it has been awesome that Coranelle is spending a decent amount of time with someone other than me. Ryan hung out with her Saturday morning while I went to Body Pump. He's been getting her out of her crib and dressed every morning. I turly hope that this will help her be more willing to go to other people. Last week, I had two friends, as well as Rachael, Stefan, Bruce and Heido try to hold her. To my dismay, she cried for all of them, within a few short minutes. Sigh. The only person she would go to without a fuss was her uncle Josh. For some reason, she never gets upset with Josh. At the church nursery on Saturday night, we didn't get called out of the service- which was great. It was a wonderful sermon and I enjoyed the chance to listen to it and sit by my husband. But, the saint of a worker that was spending time with Coranelle said that she cried off and on the entire time. Thankfully, she stuck with it. Did anyone else have these issues with their little one? How long did it last? What else should I try?

On to more positive things... We are on vacation! Our first vacation as a little family! We booked a cabin in Glenwood for three nights. It has been very cold here, but beautiful. I am thankful for a chance to be away and spend quality time with my hubby and daughter. The snow and frigid temperatures have not prevented us from bundling up and going on nice walks through the canyon and in town. We went and got coffee in town yesterday and wandered around the sports store. I told Ryan, I think I have come to Glenwood Springs more than 20 times in my life. It holds lots of great memories with many different people. It was a perfect length of drive so that Coranelle slept a good way, and then I went back and entertained her for the last 45 minutes of the drive. The first night, she slept horribly, as did we. I don't know if was strange sounds, lights, or her pack n' play, but she was up every hour from 9pm-2am. Whew! I hope that she can learn to sleep in different places, thought. Last night, she did much better, only waking up once. We put a dark green blanket over her pack n' play to shut out the light. We also turned off the noisy furnace and we all slept better.

Later today, after her nap, we will head into town and go to the hotsprings. I LOVE the Glenwood hotsprings and cannot wait to introduce them to Coranelle. Hopefully, the cold outside temperatures don't take away the fun!

Since being away, Coranelle has really improved her ability to sit up alone. She can do it for about 30 seconds before she reaches over for something and tumbles. She also did well in another restaurant on Sunday morning. We met one of Ryan's friends who just had a baby and enjoyed breakfast at the Huckleberry. Coranelle did a great job! She really is so much easier to take places and so much more enjoyable these days. She still is a mess if she gets over tired, which leaves me to planning my days around her naps and nursing. But, if it means that she is not melting down, it's worth it. I don't think I ever knew how much of this first year would be spent organizing my life around her need to nap after having been awake 2 hours and having to nurse every 3.

Regardless, her naps while on vacation have given us an opportunity to relax and rest and enjoy some down time. I am so glad that Ryan took the week off. It will be really hard to have him back to work full-time next week. But, I will soak up this time while I have it. On Thursday, we are celebrating Thanksgiving with my Mom and Steve. Ryan's whole family will be joining us, as well as Claire's. It should be a fun day! It is also Coranelle's 6 month birthday. I cannot belive a half of a year has gone by!

I will post pictures of our vacation when we return. I hope all of you have a wonderful Thanksgiving and feel that you have lots to smile about and be thankful for.

lately

This past weekend was a wonderful change. Ryan was home and we didn't have any projects that were demanding our attention. Therefore, we got to spend the weekend together as a family and it was wonderful. Ryan and I went on a date Friday night while mom and Steve watched Coranelle. She did pretty well and gave them some good smiles and laughs. They found that she did fine, so long as they didn't try to hold her. We got to go to our favorite Mexican restaurant and share fajitas and have margaritas. Then we went to a local coffee shop for some live music and a latte. It was fun to get away for a bit. Coranelle refused a bottle, which I figured. But, she went down to bed and when I got home, I nursed her. It worked pretty well!

This weekend, we also made a run to cost-co, went on a walk together and took Coranelle swimming. Coranelle was pretty happy all weekend and it was fun. At the pool, since there were 2 of us there, we could take turns hanging out with her while the other person got to go down the awesome water slides. It also snowed here again this weekend, so we enjoyed reading and playing by the fire. It was very refreshing and fun.

Some updates on Coranelle: She is now transferring things from one hand to the other. She loves playing and chewing on pacifiers. She's very close to sitting up on her own, but falls one way or another when she gets distracted by something. She's trying to scoot forward on her tummy, but cannot yet get her tiny belly off the ground. She's now eating bananas, applesauce, rice cereal, oatmeal, pears, peas, carrots and yams. A good little eater! I am worried that she is more interested in eating than nursing, so I am concerned about my milk supply decreasing. Either she is just nursing very quickly and efficiently, or there isn't much there. There's always something to worry about. I have tried pumping a few times, but don't get much out. That could be because I have a little hand pump and pump between feedings, but I don't know. I am trying to eat well and drink lots to keep the supply up. Any suggestions or thoughts would be quite appreciated! I am not ready for her to self-wean. Especially since she hates formula and won't take a bottle. Yikes! But, I did get her to drink from a Sippy cup yesterday with some apple juice and water in it. We'll keep working on that. If she'll take milk from it, we might have solved one of our dilemmas.

Coranelle is giggling more. The sound of her laugh makes parenthood so fun and worth while. She loves when you drape a blanket over her and pull it off. I could do it forever to hear her laugh! Last night, Stefan and Rachael came over for dinner and she was a pretty happy camper. (So long as they didn't try to hold her). But, she flashed lots of smiles and played with them. It was nice to have an evening that we could talk to them, without her wailing. It's one of the first times she's been that good and Stefan even commented that his ears weren't ringing this time from her screaming. I like this new phase! Stefan was making Coranelle laugh with all of his faces and sound effects. And, Coranelle loves Rachael and it is clear that Rachael is great with kids. She's got my touchy, little peanut figured out and is very gentle and caring with her.

We talked a lot about weddings last night and it will be fun to see and help everything come together for them. It is so fun to see Stefan this happy. I love the two of them together. I tell Ryan that Stefan has an important role in my life. As my parents got divorced when I was little- we spent a lot of time going back and forth between families. That could have been a lot harder if I didn't have Stefan. He was always there, no matter which house we were at. He was the only other person who knew what it was like to go back and forth and be a part of two very different families. When I was homesick, or missed dad, he was there and understood. He took care of me and kept me company. When we had to adjust to one family after being with the other, he was there. In college, I lived with him and he always made sure I was doing okay. When I was sick, he looked out for me. When I got a concussion, he kept me awake. When I was dating different guys, he gave me advice and consolation when things ended. He's an awesome brother and it is wonderful to see him with someone as great as Rachael. They are so good for each other and it will be awesome to have Rachael as part of the family and a good friend.

Alright, my window of Coranelle's contentedness in her jumpy seat is over. Got to go. Have a great week!

Walt Disney's "Up"

For those of you who haven't seen it, I recommend you do. I am talking about Walt Disney's "Up". This movie came out in theaters right around the time Coranelle was born, so we couldn't go see it. This week, it came out on DVD. Ryan has been talking about wanting to see it for a long time. So, on Tuesday, when I saw it at Target, I bought it and brought it home to surprise him. He was super excited about it and we watched it these past 2 days during Coranelle's nap. The movie is humorous, fun, sweet and very uplifting. I won't give anything away, but there was a point in the movie when the old man was looking through a memory book. Ryan and I both looked at each other and noticed tiny pools of tears in each others' eyes. Yes, even Ryan. Shhhh, don't tell anyone. I am just kidding. I am a firm believer that tears are windows into a person's soul and the fact that this scene made Ryan tear up shows how sweet and incredible he is. Through this sweet film, we realized that it isn't the crazy adventures in life that are memorable, but the every day happenings that make life sweet. At one point in the video, Russel (the little boy) was telling the old man about one of his memories. He talked about how he and his dad used to get ice cream cones, sit on a corner and count the red or blue cars that passed. He said, "I know that might sound boring. But, sometimes it is the boring times I remember most". I thought that was very sweet and very true. Today, for instance, is a rather gray day in Broomfield. We have very little planned except a trip to Cost-Co later. Despite the fact that all we've done is play with Coranelle on the floor, walk to the grocery store, and cuddle up while watching the second half of a movie doesn't mean our day is not a good one. I will remember today and treasure it because Ryan was home with us and Coranelle has giggled far more than usual. Life doesn't require fancy dates, exotic trip, and noteworthy accomplishments. Being with your family makes for a really blessed and happy life.
So, go rent or buy "Up" and then let me know what you think. I hope it brings a smile, or a tear of joy to your day too!
Happy Saturday!

The ups and downs

Parenting seems to be full of ups and downs. Or maybe, I am just an emotional new mom and so it seems that way. Last night, Coranelle went to her first restaurant for dinner with us as we met the family to celebrate Rebecca's birthday. We had been very hesitant to take her to a restaurant because of her frequent evening meltdowns. Knowing that wouldn't be fun for anyone in the family, or anyone else in the restaurant, we hadn't attempted it. But, Coranelle shocked us all and did fantastic. I took her out of the carseat while we were ordering and waiting for the food. She was squirmy and happy. When she started getting fussy, I tucked her into her carseat with the pacifier and she sat happily watching all the comotion. She actually fell asleep! So, Ryan and I got to enjoy our dinners and talking to the family. A definite up!
But, earlier in the day, I had been at a baby shower for a neighbor. Ryan got Coranelle up from her nap and attempted to feed her a bottle. Goodness! Coranelle thought she would rather chew on the nipple than suck. So, he tried a cup, a sippy cup and mixing it with rice cereal. When I came home, the efforts were still going on. I took over and tried the bottle. No luck. After an hour of trying to give her the bottle, both of us were angry and frustrated and gave up. I refused to simply nurse her, so I just waited for an hour. That was a down. Why would a bottle be so difficult. While at the baby shower, I watched the father of a 3 month old feed his son a bottle while walking around and talking to guests. Why is this so hard for Coranelle? What did I do wrong here?
I was also asking myself that question Saturday night at church. We haven't even attempted the nursery for a while because there are so many babies and not enough volunteers. Plus, we were weary of getting called out of the service. So, we have been sitting with Coranelle in the cry room. This weekend, there were 6 other babies in the cry room with us. They were all girls, ranging in age from 10 days to 10 months. All of them sat happily through the service or slept. Not my baby. Ryan had to take her out of the cry room and walk around with her in the lobby while she fought sleep. So, I sat by myself through church- which made me really sad. I can't help but wonder why Coranelle has such a hard time relaxing, while all these other babies have no problem. It is very hard to not blame myself and spend time awake at night wondering what I am doing wrong.
We were also told this weekend that Coranelle was not invited to the ceremony of a wedding we will be attending. I understand the desire to not have a crying baby during a ceremony, I do. Yet, it is difficult for me to not feel offended. I have to keep my "mamma bear claws" in check in these situations. I tend to feel that a rejection of Coranelle is a rejection of me and I get offended. I realize that I am being dramatic and this situation is not that big of a deal. Mom and Steve have offered to keep Coranelle during the ceremony and we'll go pick her up and feed her before heading back to the reception. All will work out fine, but I have be more rational and not be upset that someone does not want my baby around on their special day.
At the shower on Sunday, other friends of this expectant mom were asking me about being a new mom. It is so hard to explain this experience and all of the ups and downs. I look back and vividly remember all of the times this summer that I sat on the front steps, crying because Coranelle was screaming and we couldn't calm her down. I remember walking her up and down the path near our house, trying to get her to sleep. I can picture Ryan walking in after a day at work and me telling him I had just put her down for a nap. "How long did it take you to get her down?" He'd ask. "All day", I'd respond as I collapsed on the couch. Only to hear her scream half an hour later. I remember when the lactation consultant told me she had reflux and the horror I felt for not realizing my baby was in pain. The desperation and exhaustion of trying to shout over her screams while at the doctor's office. How do you describe these things? What can prepare you for feeling so utterly clueless and inadequate?
Further, how do you describe the way your heart jumps when you see that first smile? I remember the joy in hearing her laugh at me the first time. How do you describe the way your heart swells when you lift her out of her crib after a nap and she nuzzles against your neck. How about that wonderful feeling when she grabs your fingers and holds tight. I love watching her roll over and grow up and develop. It is so fun to see her grasping for her books and playing with her toys. I get so excited to see her lean towards that spoon and gulp down her carrots and banana. I cannot imagine our house and family without our touchy and spirited child. I would hate a morning that didn't include her little talking and jabbering in her crib and being greeted with a huge grin when I un-swaddle her peanut of a body.
I guess each day is filled with ups and downs. I sigh with frustration when she melts down again in the evening, so tired but so stubborn to fight sleep. Our blood pressure goes through the roof as she rejects the bottle again and again. Yet, our hearts melt when she cuddles up against us and squeals with delight. I suppose you just cannot understand what it's like until you have your own. And your heart feels so much bigger and fuller, but can so easily break when the little ones are not happy.
We'll see what this week brings in my roller coaster of a life. Coranelle started sounding a big congested last night. I can hear flem in her cough. Hopefully, she can fight off this cold quickly. She's saying hello to all of you right now. She is sitting her next to me, playing with her toy and watching me type. I hope you all had splendid weekends!

Zanahorias

Zanahoria- the spanish word for carrot. Today, Coranelle tried carrots, and really seemed to like them. Do you think that is because I love them and eat them every day? Is she somehow used to them because I ate them while I was pregnant and while nursing? Not sure. But, for a touchy baby, she sure didn't miss a beat when I offered them to her today. She'd done alright with squash and yams. Actually, squash was a pain. I offered it to her about 8 times before she finally actually swallowed a tiny amount. She was very dramatic about it too. Gagging and kind of choking. She did better when it was a store bought jar of squash and the texture was perfectly smooth. But, she still would only tolerate a spoonful or two. But, really, so would I. When I tasted it, I couldn't eat more than a spoonful by itself either. With the yams, it depended on the day or time I offered them. Sometimes, she'd eat the whole little thawed out ice cube of them. Other times, she'd turn away as soon as she smelled them. So, what kind of eater will I have on my hands? It will be interesting to see.

Today, it is gorgeous here. Mid 70's and sunny. The last 3 days, I have walked with friends in a t-shirt for almost 2 hours each day. I am soaking up this wonderful weather while it lasts. Later today, I have a "play-date" with a friend that I met at my breast-feeding group. We are meeting at a park to walk around the lake and let the babies hang out together in the sun. This mom used to be worried about her son's weight gain. He is 6 days older than Coranelle and now weighs 17+ pounds. Crazy. I think Coranelle is somewhere near 12 1/2 pounds. It's crazy how different these little ones are. Hopefully, she doubles her birthweight by 6 months.

This past Tuesday, I went to Body Pump at 5:30. Coranelle was a total pill for Ryan. She went down for a little nap for about 15 minutes. Then, she cried. I came home to her crying again! It makes me not want to leave. Ryan was going to try putting her in the swing and she saw me and then started screaming. Red faced, tears, heaving... oh, it's so hard to listen to. I asked if I could hold her for a minute. She calmed down instantly. Ryan encouraged me to put her in the swing so that someone else could calm her. I reluctantly listened and went to throw some dinner together. She screamed and screamed. It was about 5 minutes, but felt like an hour. Ryan decided to take her out and calm her down himself, but it didn't work. He didn't want me to take her right away and so I tried to stand back. After 5 more minutes, I came to take her- unable to listen to her scream anymore. She, of course, was fine once she was in my arms. This stage is making me crazy. Poor Ryan. All he wants to do is come home and love on his daughter, and she just wants to be in my arms. So, we are going to try working on having other people hold her and comfort her so we don't make the problem worse. Any other advice?

Alright, off to make some brownies. After the rec center on Thursdays, we have Josh and Claire over to watch The Office and I try to have treats. Have a great day!

a whole new world

Passed out on me at the party. :-(
The Moms with their May babies.
Not feeling great, but certainly cute!
The monkey we found on our jungle expedition.
Putting Oragel on her gums before heading out to the party.

I've never been so worried in my life as this past weekend when Coranelle had a fever. It is so hard to not make yourself crazy trying to make your little one feel better. But, we made it through her first illness. Coranelle started being extra fussy on Thursday and had a fever by Friday, as well as a horrible diaper rash. Saturday, she was up to a 100.0 temp. We called the on-call nurse and she wanted us to treat it at home, rather than bring her in where everyone else is sick. We let her hang out bare bottomed and kept giving her tylenol. She was certainly not herself and that was the scary part. On Friday, we took her to a halloween party, all dressed up and looking adorable in her monkey costume. She was fussy getting ready and when we got there. I decided to take her over to the couch and sit down because holding her was hard with my heeled boots on. A few minutes later, I looked down and she was asleep. What? That was shocking! My baby doesn't just fall asleep. Yikes, we knew she wasn't herself at all. She was also really pale and not talking or babbling at all. I wanted so badly to make it better, but it is hard to wait it out. Fortunately, Ryan took Friday off and on Saturday, my mom was here for the whole day. So, I had other people around to keep me from being sick with worry! She broke her fever Saturday night and is doing well now. We thought that she might be teething because the combination of the fever, diaper rash, extra stools, and drooling. But, I haven't seen a tooth yet. When she started fighting her naps again on Saturday night, I was so relieved. It was so fun to hear her little talking and see her smiles again. I missed her little personality, as high maintence as she can be. I'd rather have my stubborn daughter than a sick one that is so calm lethargic.

It was really fun to have Ryan home for a 3 day weekend. Because of all of the snow, we couldn't paint until Sunday when it had melted. So, I got to spend 2 days with him, just hanging out. It was wonderful. Friday, we went to the rec center together and later to the mall to get my birthday present. (A little late, I know. But, having a baby and taking on huge house projects makes time a little hard to come by). I now have a fun new swimming suit for our vacation and swim classes and a wonderful new watch. I feel spoiled!

Saturday, my mom came with me to Body Pump at the Rec Center. It was packed, but fun to have her take the class I go to every Tuesday. Then, we spent time trying to nurse Coranelle back to health. Stefan and Rachael stopped by for lunch and my Uncle, Aunt and Cousin came by for a visit too. Ryan and I got to go on a little stroll while mom watched Coranelle. That was the first time I have been on a walk without a stroller or the Bjorn since May! Finally, we went to church with mom. It was fun to have her here with us the whole day!

Yesterday, we tried to tackle more painting. Oh, how do I wish this project was over! We are still not quite done. We have a little trip left on the top of the house in the front and back and I am not sure how we will reach it. I guess I know what we'll be doing next weekend! Next time, we'll pay to have this done. Ryan has worked so hard to get it done and I just want him to have a weekend back!

In other news, I am still feeling like we need to build up our network of young parents. It feels isolating to be the only couple of our friends that have a baby because we are no longer invited to dinners or hangouts. I understand, but it is hard. And, I am so thankful to have met some other moms, but that primarily keeps out the loneliness of the daytime for me. We have started a bible study with another couple who has an 8 month old and that has been good. But, we are having a hard time getting more families to join. We love this couple, but it would be nice to have more of a community and more input.

I have also been struggling to keep my weight stable. I know this is not something many new moms want to hear, but I am being honest. I think the breastfeeding, stress, and constant going going going has made me drop some weight. I am now below my pre-pregnancy weight and my pants and baggy and big. I was pretty happy with my weight before I got pregnant, so this is not intentional. I also really like my pants that I fit into before, so I don't want to keep losing. I am trying to find healthy snacks and eat enough to sustain myself and make sure that Coranelle is getting enough. The scary thing is, that I keep getting comments from people about how good I look. I am sure you are wondering why that is scary. In HS, when I became anorexic, it started like this. I lost a little weight because I was sick and I got so many positive comments, I wanted to keep losing. And so I ended up weighing 85 pounds. When people comment now, I feel like what they are really saying is, "You didn't look good before- but now that you are thinner, you are acceptable". I am not sure that is what they are really implying, but it hurts my feelings that I wasn't pretty before I was pregnant when I weighed a bit more and my legs were bigger. Body image is such a hard thing in today's world and I am tyring so hard to not define myself by my looks or how other people see me. Our pastor's sermon on Sunday was a little bit about Adam and Eve and their shame when they were naked in the garden. It's interesting to think about who told them that they were naked. The snake. Before that, they never had shame. They were defined by God and all was good and perfect. I have to work hard to not let thoughts about weight and beauty define who I am. God created this body and it is perfect- no matter what others perceive or say. I am bound and determined to teach my little girl healthy eating and excersize habits and let her know every day how beatiful she is- regardless of what size she wears or what shape or package she grows up to be. It is very important to me to be a good role model for her.

I will stop my ranting now. I need to finish making our dinner. We are having homemade pizza and a spinach salad. I even got some applesauce for Coranelle to try. She got a taste of mashed up bananas today and loved it. I know... I am supposed to introduce veggies first. And, she has eaten some yams and squash. But, it is so fun to see how excited she gets to have fruit.

snow bunnies

A new outfit from Grams!
Being so tired at Gram's birthday celebration. She fought sleep SOO hard!
Hanging out in the saucer while we painted. (That lasted about 5 minutes)
So, she and I just walked around and talked to all the hard workers.
Admiring the work before the cold and wind blew in.
Coranelle's first snow day. She seemed pretty happy about it!
All bundled up and wearing socks for mittens.We don't have gloves and I didn't expect to need them in October with this foot of snow we are getting.
Falling asleep on me while we watched Harry Potter. This rarely happens anymore, so it was fun. I think the swimming wore her out!


It's been busy in the Mork household, so when today brought loads of falling snow, I was happy for a day at home, without the possibility of outdoor projects and playgroups. This past weekend, we worked as hard as we could to get our house painted. We had 7 family members helping us over the course of the day, and that was awesome. Ryan's parents, Josh, Claire, Stefan, Mom, and Steve were all here for a while to help paint. We still did not finish, but got about 75% done. It was so great to have their help! On Sunday, it snowed, so we could not continue. Then, Ryan headed back to work. On Monday and Tuesday, I worked on re-painting the shed, front door and mailbox while Coranelle took her naps. I paid a neighbor's brother to come paint for 7 or so hours over the past 2 days. He is a professional painter and really helped us out and gave us a GREAT deal. All we have left is one high spot of siding and some trim. Yay! I might finally get my husband back on the weekends! I cannot wait for that. And, the house is looking great. Sunday, I picked out a fun red to paint the door and mailbox and got those painted this week. I am really liking it! It will feel awesome to have it done.

We are so tired of projects and working, I booked a vacation for us in November. Ryan and I agreed that since we saved around $$3,000 dollars painting our house our selves, we could use a little bit of it to treat ourselves. We are going to stay in a resort cabin in Glenwood Springs and go to the hot spring pools and maybe do some hiking. We got a phenomenal deal on the cabin, so we are going for 3 nights. A cabin is a good choice for Coranelle so we don't have to sleep right next to her. We also prefer making our own meals than going out. It will be our first family vacation and I cannot wait. We need it!

Other than that, I am watching the snow come down. Broomfield currently has more than 10 inches of snow. I shoveled during Coranelle's nap and it was quite the workout. My back is going to hurt! (I know, lift with your legs, not your back... but I cannot quite master that). I am feeling so thankful that I do not have to commute into Longmont today in this nasty weather. I drove less than a mile to the rec center this morning and it was scary! Crazy fall we are having.

As for Coranelle- she is getting back to taking the bottle. Only breast milk, no formula. She'll do it if the milk is the perfect temperature, I'm nowhere to be seen, Ryan is standing up and holding her while swaying, and singing. She's not at all a high-maintenence child! :-) But, at least she is taking it again.

We have a halloween party to take her to this Friday. She'll be a gorilla and I will be Jane Goodall and Ryan will be some sort of jungle explorer. Not very creative with the costumes, but in the sake of saving money, buying costumes is not a priority.

I took Coranelle to a mom and me swim class last Friday and it was SOOO much fun. It was harder than I thought and I got a good workout. We were both tired when we got home. She was great for the whole hour. I am so happy that she likes the water!

Not much else to report. For all of you Colorado readers, stay warm and dry. Be careful driving! Have a great rest of your week!