falling behind

I am not sure if anyone even checks this blog anymore because I have been so bad about updating it. I keep thinking that I'll get back into it and post more regularly, and then life happens. Coranelle is napping less and less and I just haven't made the time for it. So, to those of you who still occasionally pop over, thank you! And, I'm sorry for not being more regular.

We've already changed the clocks back an hour and fall seems to be a blur. A happy blur, but a blur nonetheless. Ryan has been working a lot of hours so that has left me with a lot of time with the kiddos on my own. We keep hoping that Ball will find someone who can help Ryan out with his workload, but so far, nothing seems too promising. He's just so good at what he does, everyone wants him to work their program! ;) But, truth be told, we are both very thankful that he has a good employer and a good job. We are not blind to the fact that not everyone is so blessed.

 We took a train on the Georgetown Train loop because Sheldon has recently become obsessed with trains. It was a really fun, family day out.

 I did a sprint triathlon with my mom and another friend in September and it was a really fun challenge and experience.

 We discovered a new, wonderful place near Longmont called Sunflower farms. We went 5 weeks in a row to feed animals, ride ziplines and rope swings, play in tree houses, go for pony rides and enjoy the outdoors.

 A trip to the butterfly pavilion to hold Rosie, the tarantula.

 One of our many afternoons playing at local parks.

 Pumpkin time!

 Playing at the infamous park in Georgetown, Co.

 We raked and are still raking loads of leaves. The kids think it's a blast.... I'm over it!

 One of many zoo trips.

 Sunflower farms!

 Anderson farms!

 Sheldon's 2nd favorite thing: his dump truck.

 My pocket sized pirate!

 My spunky little Tinkerbell.

 A visit to the Children' s museum. These two are so cute together- such good buddies!

 Trick-or-treating with her friends.

My little girl- ALWAYS on the go. I can never seem to wear her out! 
This fall has been full of fun activities, leaves, pumpkins, costumes and beautiful Colorado weather.  There have been a lot of really horrendous things in Colorado in the past few months. We are trying hard to focus on the good friends and neighbors and the good memories we are building with our family. I hope fall is treating all of you well. Cheers until next time!

Summer Days

It's hard for me to believe that it is already the end of August. School is starting, it's 56 degrees out in the morning, there are finally books back on the shelves at the library and summer is almost over. I thought that I would take a few minutes to update the blog with some fun highlights of the summer, as I have only written a few times in the last few months.

This summer was a few months of soul searching for me. There were some hard things going on with a few family issues, relationships and other situations I won't bore you with. But, through it all, I have a really deep appreciation for my husband and kids. I think I have taken our little family for granted in the past, and I hope to not do this in the future. I have one of the most amazing, dedicated, loyal, Godly, kind, gracious husbands imaginable and he made a really great summer for this family. I also realized how thankful I am to be able to spend the summer with my kids. I have had a great time taking them to parks, pools, splash areas, the zoo, and play dates.  Ryan and I agreed that the kids are at a great age now for doing family outings. Sheldon can walk now and I am not breastfeeding every few hours. Here are some of our recent highlights:

Coranelle starts preschool next Monday. She has met her new teacher and most of the kids in her class. Her teacher is awesome and she and Coranelle hit it off right away. Her teacher has a daughter with a spirited personality much like C's. This was a relief to me as I know that her teacher will understand Coranelle and some of her triggers, some of her strengths and some areas that will require more patience. I think the year will be great for us all.

This is a picture of Coranelle at her "meet and greet". I think Sheldon wants to go to her class too!

Another highlight of the summer has been to watch the relationship unfold between Coranelle and Sheldon. They ADORE each other and it is one of my favorite things to watch as a parent. They fight, of course, but Sheldon copies everything C does. Coranelle is really protective of Sheldon and makes sure other kids are treating him well. She'll say, "That's my buddy's toy. Can he play with it and then you can take a turn." They make each other laugh and giggle all the time. I hope they continue to be really great friends.

Above, Coranelle is sharing the cup of free ice cream that she earned from the library reading program.

We recently took the training wheels off of Coranelle's bike. We probably should have taken them off sooner, because she is doing amazingly well. She can ride for blocks on her own. We are working on starting and stopping now, and I think she'll master it pretty soon. Preschool, a two wheel bicycle, swimming on her own- next stop... college! Yikes!

I have also gotten braver taking the kids places on my own. We have made trips to pools, the Bay, the library, and the zoo. I have had a really good time with the kids and think that they are at an age where these field trips are fun for everyone!

 Coranelle being our tour guide at the zoo

 Watching the bears

 The elephant show

The Bay!

Sheldon will start a gymnastics class this fall while his sister is in preschool. I am excited to have some fun things planned with him. I am also training for a triathlon in September. My mom and another friend are doing it with me and I am excited about it. I have enjoyed the time that I get to be on my road bike and do some swimming. It's a good goal to work towards.

I have had a great summer and I am so thankful for the time I've had to spend with family and friends. I am very blessed and am excited for all the adventures the fall will bring.

Seeing the Gifts

"Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experiecne life and the world" -Sarah Ban Breathnach


I have recently started reading a phenomenal book called One Thousand Gifts, by Ann Voskam. It is a book I would highly recommend to anyone willing to change their perception. A basic overview would be that the author realizes that the root to every sin is ingratitude, and therefore the best way to combat ingratitude is with eucharisteo- the giving of thanks. So, that is what I am working at doing; giving thanks- giving thanks through all things, wherever... whenever. Even in the midst of weariness, self doubt, anxiety, feelings of failure, bitterness, heartbreak, pain, etc.  On days when I'm doing laundry... again..., listening to a 15 month old cry for hours, break up fights, hear the whines and tantrums, mopping...again..., even in the ordinary, I am trying to be thankful. On days where it would be so easy to only see the broken and the bad- the marital problems, the miscarriage, the death of a friend's father- far too young, the cancer, the people who lost their homes to fires... and that list could go on and on. Instead, thankful whether empty or full. I am working toward seeing that God makes plans for good. He is God. He is Everything."Because eucharisteo is how Jesus, at the Last Supper, showed us to transfigure all things- take the pain that is given, give thanks for it, and transform it into a joy that fulfills all emptiness."- Ann Voskamp

As I am working on being grateful, I have started to write down things that I am thankful for. This is what the author of the book did and I thought it was brilliant, so I am copying. As we write things down, we can practice being grateful and recognizing God's hand in all that surrounds us. Ann Voskamp says, "Do not disdain the small. the whole of life-even the hard- is made up of minute parts, and if I miss the infinitesimals, I miss the whole.". That is what I am trying to do... see the details and give thanks. Obviously, I fail a great portion of the time. But, I am practicing. And it is making a difference. Each afternoon when the kids go down for naps and each night, I try to reflect on a few things that I am thankful for and how I have seen God in the ordinary, the hard, the insignificant. In giving thanks, I've discovered more joy, more grace.

Here are a few of the things on my list from the last few days:
20. forts in the living room
26. Sheldon's tiny pink toes
28. Zumba
30. fleece blankets scattered
36. The smell of C's head after a bath- curls and baby shampoo 
40. fruit snacks
45.Tara's 4 minute phone messages 
60. inter-tube slides
90. lemon yogurt
91. gardening in bare feet- smelling fresh basil
95. dark storm clouds when it's been much too hot
109. straws in ice water
115. Hearing Ryan's voice as he read to the kids
132. the hammock
152. painting with the kids

The less we hurry and the more we intentionally reflect on all of the blessings in our days, the more we will find joy in the midst of it all.

 A rare, but precious coffee date with my girl

 thankful for the mess...

check out the tiny, purple footprint on the concrete!

 114. petting zoo with the kids

 119. Watching the firecrackers with C

 Watching the kids at the skate park was such a gift!

I encourage you to start a written or mental list. If 1,000 is too daunting, leave me a comment and share a few of the gifts you've experienced lately.

High High and LOW low

I've neglected this blog for so long, I wouldn't be surprised if the only person who still checks it is my mom. I'll attempt to get back into blogging more regularly. I was half tempted to leave the blogging up to the experts, as I feel like there are some amazing mommy blogs out there that have become popular nationwide (momastery is amazing!!). I know that I cannot write that eloquently, so I thought I'd just stick to reading blogs. Yet, Ryan reminded me that this blog has been a good "scrapbook" of events, challenges, highs, lows, celebrations and milestones in our lives and so no other blogger can record that.

Another reason that I've been away is that things have been busy. We have gone to Arizona, celebrated 3 family birthdays, an anniversary, had a visit from my dad and Kyle, went away with Ryan to Seattle, have been teaching C how to ride a bike with pedals, ran the BoulderBolder, I'm training for a half marathon in just over a week, Coranelle started preschool and soccer camp and the list just goes on.... and on.

So, for those of you out there that still occasionally read this, I'd love some advice;
Today was one of those days where we had a really high moment and then a really, awful, low hour. This morning was C's first day of preschool. I was super nervous as every time we have started something like this, she has had a hard time adjusting and is clingy and hesitant when I leave. She had a hard time at church, Mops and the rec center and it took a long time for her to warm up to these situations. So, we've been talking about preschool for months. I've probably checked out at least 10 books about starting school and preschool and we've done tours and visits and just really hyped up the whole opportunity. Yet, I was nervous. Apparently, and surprisingly, I had no need to be.  We got to school and we went into her classroom. She immediately found a puzzle and sat down to do it. There was another little girl there and it was her first day. The two of them talked and played. When it was time for me to leave, I asked her if she wanted to come say goodbye to Sheldon and me and she didn't even turn around. She just waved and continued on with her puzzle. When I went to pick her up, her teacher and directors all told me that she did wonderfully and had a great time. She talked and smiled and was great. When she came out to meet me, she yelled, "I had SO much fun". So, she told me all about what they did and her new friends and kept asking when she gets to go again. I was SO pleased. I really desired that her first experience with school was a positive one, as I want her to LOVE school and think it is fun. So, what an answer to prayers. I was so proud of her and so happy.

And then we went to day 3 of a week long soccer camp. Let me preface by saying that this camp is not cheap and it is put on by british soccer players- so it's the real deal. Coranelle has been excited to play soccer for months. We even got her little shin guards, new tennis shoes and we have read plenty of books about soccer. Apparently the college aged coaches are terrifying to Coranelle, as are the games they play. They have varied the well-know game of sharks and minnows and turned it into crabs and surfers, sharks and fish, etc. Coranelle was so afraid of these coaches the first day that she was literally shaking. She was terrified of the games and super clingy. So, the hours that I had expected to cheer and watch, I have spend holding her hand and playing with her. Today, things went from bad to worse when her coaches took the night off and there were two, new coaches. Coranelle would not let go of my hand to play. She would not kick the ball without me by her side (holding her hand). If I stepped a foot away, she'd erupt into tears and shriek that she needed help and couldn't do it by herself. If she kicked her ball and it didn't go where she wanted, she was a basket case. After 50 minutes of being as positive and excited and fun and supportive as you could POSSIBLY imagine, I lost it. None of the other parents were holding their three year old's hand.  The other kids were not terrified. What was going on?! So, I did what any good parent does- I bribed her! I told her she could have 2 fruit snacks if she could play that last game by herself and if I could watch and cheer from the sideline- just 10 feet away. She promised she would. But, she got 2 feet away from me and started wailing that she just couldn't do it and that I had to come with her. I couldn't handle the whining anymore and I walked off the field. Ryan had long since lost his patience and was playing with Sheldon at the park. He had left work early to come watch Coranelle and just couldn't handle the whining. So, here's where I need advice.... Now what?

I don't want to let her just quit. I quit when I was a kid and now I regret it. I quit soccer, baseball, basketball and piano and now I wish I had all those skills. I explained this to Coranelle and she seemed to understand. She told me that she wanted to play with her friends and not be lonely. But, how do I get her to do that? We have decorated her ball, played the games at home, done the chants at home, done everything short of a full-on pep rally. And the odd thing is- she is typically Ms. Independent. She completely gets dressed on her own, gets into our lifted 4-runner, puts on her seat belt, gets her own water, etc.

I think part of the issue is that she is so critical of herself. If the ball doesn't go EXACTLY where she wants it to when she kicks it, she becomes hysterical. If she trips or misses the goal, it's as if the world has ended. So, she is clearly critical of herself. How do we work on that? I've tried to tell her that mistakes are fine and everyone is learning. But, it hasn't sunk in.

She's actually quite an athlete and can dribble the ball and run like you wouldn't believe. So, I don't understand where this is coming from. I love this girl fiercely and I really want her to have a good first experience with soccer. Any suggestions? Other than venting on my blog while drinking a beer?

525,600 minutes

Sheldon is one now. Wow, how did that happen? Actually, it happened about 20 days ago and I have yet to post anything since. Just before Sheldon turned one, I heard this song during a Zumba class. I couldn't help but tear up as I listened and remembered Sheldon's first year of life.

Five hundred twenty-five thousand

Six hundred minutes,

Five hundred twenty-five thousand

Moments so dear.

Five hundred twenty-five thousand

Six hundred minutes

How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights

In cups of coffee

In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.

In five hundred twenty-five thousand

Six hundred minutes

How do you measure

A year in the life?

How about love?

How about love?

How about love? Measure in love

How do I measure Sheldon's first year? Yes, there were a LOT of cups of coffee. Lots- this boy has decided to be awake before 5:30am almost every day this past year. Was there strife- yes. Nursing strikes, food strikes, waking up 7 times a night, rough bouts of teething. Is it measured in inches? Well, he's certainly grown! Miles? We've taken him all over the place. Swim lessons, church, about 30 different parks, play places, play dates, Breckenridge, Manitou Springs, Buena Vista- yes, we've traveled many miles with him. Is it measured in laughter? There has been a lot of laughter. Just look at his precious face. He is a silly, fun kid and he has the most awesome belly laugh... ever!!!

But no, that's not how I measure his first year of life. It truly is measured in love. Sheldon has added so much love to our lives. He is my precious baby boy and I love him fiercely and immeasurably! Thank you Sheldon- for each of those 525,600 minutes. Cheers to MANY more to come! Love you Shelly Belly! Happy Birthday! (20 days late!).

The Best

I've had a few very meaningful conversations recently with a dear friend of mine and my mom. We've been discussing the trend that appears to surround raising kids recently in which it is considered okay to constantly compare, judge and criticize the behavior and development of other people's children. Let me preface by saying that I am including myself in this behavior and I am just as guilty as any other parent.

We've had a few episodes recently in which my daughter has not behaved well. One day when I was picking them up for the rec center, I had to stop to ask for Sheldon's jacket and in that time, she literally made it all the way out the door. When I got to the door with Sheldon, a lady was bringing her back inside looking at me with the most disgusted impression on her face and she said, "Yup, she made it ALL the way out the door." A few other mothers were all glaring through me, looking at me as if I was the worst mother in the world. I dealt with the situation in the best manner I knew. I knelt down and talked to Coranelle quietly and sternly talking about why she couldn't run out without me and that it is my job to protect her and keep her safe and I cannot do that if she is that far ahead of me. We left and I just felt so small. I kept thinking about how grateful I was that none of my mommy friends were there to see that incident.

In retrospect, I look back on the incident and think, okay, it's really not that big of a deal. Yes, it needed to be dealt with and we learned something from it. But, come on.... do you really think she is the only toddler ever in history to escape out the door without a parent? No. All those glares and judgments.... are you telling me your kids never pulled something like that? If not, that's awesome., but it's not the norm. I've experienced similar comments and looks while dealing with tantrums at the grocery store. I think peoples' memories are failing them because I am almost positive that tantrums are part of the toddler years. They call them the terrible twos for a reason, yes?

After venting about these incidents to a friend, she was talking to me about similar experiences with her child. Her child's incidents of impulsivity or occasional bad behavior has her not wanting to let her kid play outside with neighbor kids because she feels as if the neighbors are just waiting for her kid to do something wrong. Then other moms are talking about her kid later and discussing any bad behavior, making judgments.

It makes you self conscious of your parenting. It makes you nervous to take your kids out in public. These judgments seem to go hand in hand with the constant comparisons between kids. Here are some of the things we are guilty of comparing:
How your child sleeps through the night, how s/he nurses, when they roll/ crawl/ walk, how much they weigh, when they get their first teeth, how fast they go to sleep at night, how they nap, how they experience stranger anxiety, how they are in public places, how many words they can say, if they're a good eater if they know their letters/numbers/colors/shapes, which preschool they're going to, when they ride a bike..... and it goes on and on and on. When our kid doesn't reach a milestone when someone else's kid does, we are suddenly blaming our parenting. It's as if we have failed if our kid isn't sleeping through the night as soon as another child.

Why are we constantly comparing our kids development and behavior to others? Why can't we celebrate their differences and uniqueness and realize that they will each have something different to offer as they grow up? What I am really working on is trying to look for the good in each of my kids. I want other people to do the same. I want them to seek out things to praise about their own kids and other peoples' kids instead of the constant comparison and looking for things to criticize about kids. Every day I am trying to seek out the positive things that my kids have done or ways they have acted instead of dwelling on the tantrums or bad behavior. Will you join me?