High High and LOW low

I've neglected this blog for so long, I wouldn't be surprised if the only person who still checks it is my mom. I'll attempt to get back into blogging more regularly. I was half tempted to leave the blogging up to the experts, as I feel like there are some amazing mommy blogs out there that have become popular nationwide (momastery is amazing!!). I know that I cannot write that eloquently, so I thought I'd just stick to reading blogs. Yet, Ryan reminded me that this blog has been a good "scrapbook" of events, challenges, highs, lows, celebrations and milestones in our lives and so no other blogger can record that.

Another reason that I've been away is that things have been busy. We have gone to Arizona, celebrated 3 family birthdays, an anniversary, had a visit from my dad and Kyle, went away with Ryan to Seattle, have been teaching C how to ride a bike with pedals, ran the BoulderBolder, I'm training for a half marathon in just over a week, Coranelle started preschool and soccer camp and the list just goes on.... and on.

So, for those of you out there that still occasionally read this, I'd love some advice;
Today was one of those days where we had a really high moment and then a really, awful, low hour. This morning was C's first day of preschool. I was super nervous as every time we have started something like this, she has had a hard time adjusting and is clingy and hesitant when I leave. She had a hard time at church, Mops and the rec center and it took a long time for her to warm up to these situations. So, we've been talking about preschool for months. I've probably checked out at least 10 books about starting school and preschool and we've done tours and visits and just really hyped up the whole opportunity. Yet, I was nervous. Apparently, and surprisingly, I had no need to be.  We got to school and we went into her classroom. She immediately found a puzzle and sat down to do it. There was another little girl there and it was her first day. The two of them talked and played. When it was time for me to leave, I asked her if she wanted to come say goodbye to Sheldon and me and she didn't even turn around. She just waved and continued on with her puzzle. When I went to pick her up, her teacher and directors all told me that she did wonderfully and had a great time. She talked and smiled and was great. When she came out to meet me, she yelled, "I had SO much fun". So, she told me all about what they did and her new friends and kept asking when she gets to go again. I was SO pleased. I really desired that her first experience with school was a positive one, as I want her to LOVE school and think it is fun. So, what an answer to prayers. I was so proud of her and so happy.

And then we went to day 3 of a week long soccer camp. Let me preface by saying that this camp is not cheap and it is put on by british soccer players- so it's the real deal. Coranelle has been excited to play soccer for months. We even got her little shin guards, new tennis shoes and we have read plenty of books about soccer. Apparently the college aged coaches are terrifying to Coranelle, as are the games they play. They have varied the well-know game of sharks and minnows and turned it into crabs and surfers, sharks and fish, etc. Coranelle was so afraid of these coaches the first day that she was literally shaking. She was terrified of the games and super clingy. So, the hours that I had expected to cheer and watch, I have spend holding her hand and playing with her. Today, things went from bad to worse when her coaches took the night off and there were two, new coaches. Coranelle would not let go of my hand to play. She would not kick the ball without me by her side (holding her hand). If I stepped a foot away, she'd erupt into tears and shriek that she needed help and couldn't do it by herself. If she kicked her ball and it didn't go where she wanted, she was a basket case. After 50 minutes of being as positive and excited and fun and supportive as you could POSSIBLY imagine, I lost it. None of the other parents were holding their three year old's hand.  The other kids were not terrified. What was going on?! So, I did what any good parent does- I bribed her! I told her she could have 2 fruit snacks if she could play that last game by herself and if I could watch and cheer from the sideline- just 10 feet away. She promised she would. But, she got 2 feet away from me and started wailing that she just couldn't do it and that I had to come with her. I couldn't handle the whining anymore and I walked off the field. Ryan had long since lost his patience and was playing with Sheldon at the park. He had left work early to come watch Coranelle and just couldn't handle the whining. So, here's where I need advice.... Now what?

I don't want to let her just quit. I quit when I was a kid and now I regret it. I quit soccer, baseball, basketball and piano and now I wish I had all those skills. I explained this to Coranelle and she seemed to understand. She told me that she wanted to play with her friends and not be lonely. But, how do I get her to do that? We have decorated her ball, played the games at home, done the chants at home, done everything short of a full-on pep rally. And the odd thing is- she is typically Ms. Independent. She completely gets dressed on her own, gets into our lifted 4-runner, puts on her seat belt, gets her own water, etc.

I think part of the issue is that she is so critical of herself. If the ball doesn't go EXACTLY where she wants it to when she kicks it, she becomes hysterical. If she trips or misses the goal, it's as if the world has ended. So, she is clearly critical of herself. How do we work on that? I've tried to tell her that mistakes are fine and everyone is learning. But, it hasn't sunk in.

She's actually quite an athlete and can dribble the ball and run like you wouldn't believe. So, I don't understand where this is coming from. I love this girl fiercely and I really want her to have a good first experience with soccer. Any suggestions? Other than venting on my blog while drinking a beer?

525,600 minutes

Sheldon is one now. Wow, how did that happen? Actually, it happened about 20 days ago and I have yet to post anything since. Just before Sheldon turned one, I heard this song during a Zumba class. I couldn't help but tear up as I listened and remembered Sheldon's first year of life.

Five hundred twenty-five thousand

Six hundred minutes,

Five hundred twenty-five thousand

Moments so dear.

Five hundred twenty-five thousand

Six hundred minutes

How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights

In cups of coffee

In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.

In five hundred twenty-five thousand

Six hundred minutes

How do you measure

A year in the life?

How about love?

How about love?

How about love? Measure in love

How do I measure Sheldon's first year? Yes, there were a LOT of cups of coffee. Lots- this boy has decided to be awake before 5:30am almost every day this past year. Was there strife- yes. Nursing strikes, food strikes, waking up 7 times a night, rough bouts of teething. Is it measured in inches? Well, he's certainly grown! Miles? We've taken him all over the place. Swim lessons, church, about 30 different parks, play places, play dates, Breckenridge, Manitou Springs, Buena Vista- yes, we've traveled many miles with him. Is it measured in laughter? There has been a lot of laughter. Just look at his precious face. He is a silly, fun kid and he has the most awesome belly laugh... ever!!!

But no, that's not how I measure his first year of life. It truly is measured in love. Sheldon has added so much love to our lives. He is my precious baby boy and I love him fiercely and immeasurably! Thank you Sheldon- for each of those 525,600 minutes. Cheers to MANY more to come! Love you Shelly Belly! Happy Birthday! (20 days late!).

The Best

I've had a few very meaningful conversations recently with a dear friend of mine and my mom. We've been discussing the trend that appears to surround raising kids recently in which it is considered okay to constantly compare, judge and criticize the behavior and development of other people's children. Let me preface by saying that I am including myself in this behavior and I am just as guilty as any other parent.

We've had a few episodes recently in which my daughter has not behaved well. One day when I was picking them up for the rec center, I had to stop to ask for Sheldon's jacket and in that time, she literally made it all the way out the door. When I got to the door with Sheldon, a lady was bringing her back inside looking at me with the most disgusted impression on her face and she said, "Yup, she made it ALL the way out the door." A few other mothers were all glaring through me, looking at me as if I was the worst mother in the world. I dealt with the situation in the best manner I knew. I knelt down and talked to Coranelle quietly and sternly talking about why she couldn't run out without me and that it is my job to protect her and keep her safe and I cannot do that if she is that far ahead of me. We left and I just felt so small. I kept thinking about how grateful I was that none of my mommy friends were there to see that incident.

In retrospect, I look back on the incident and think, okay, it's really not that big of a deal. Yes, it needed to be dealt with and we learned something from it. But, come on.... do you really think she is the only toddler ever in history to escape out the door without a parent? No. All those glares and judgments.... are you telling me your kids never pulled something like that? If not, that's awesome., but it's not the norm. I've experienced similar comments and looks while dealing with tantrums at the grocery store. I think peoples' memories are failing them because I am almost positive that tantrums are part of the toddler years. They call them the terrible twos for a reason, yes?

After venting about these incidents to a friend, she was talking to me about similar experiences with her child. Her child's incidents of impulsivity or occasional bad behavior has her not wanting to let her kid play outside with neighbor kids because she feels as if the neighbors are just waiting for her kid to do something wrong. Then other moms are talking about her kid later and discussing any bad behavior, making judgments.

It makes you self conscious of your parenting. It makes you nervous to take your kids out in public. These judgments seem to go hand in hand with the constant comparisons between kids. Here are some of the things we are guilty of comparing:
How your child sleeps through the night, how s/he nurses, when they roll/ crawl/ walk, how much they weigh, when they get their first teeth, how fast they go to sleep at night, how they nap, how they experience stranger anxiety, how they are in public places, how many words they can say, if they're a good eater if they know their letters/numbers/colors/shapes, which preschool they're going to, when they ride a bike..... and it goes on and on and on. When our kid doesn't reach a milestone when someone else's kid does, we are suddenly blaming our parenting. It's as if we have failed if our kid isn't sleeping through the night as soon as another child.

Why are we constantly comparing our kids development and behavior to others? Why can't we celebrate their differences and uniqueness and realize that they will each have something different to offer as they grow up? What I am really working on is trying to look for the good in each of my kids. I want other people to do the same. I want them to seek out things to praise about their own kids and other peoples' kids instead of the constant comparison and looking for things to criticize about kids. Every day I am trying to seek out the positive things that my kids have done or ways they have acted instead of dwelling on the tantrums or bad behavior. Will you join me?

Spring Sprung

My little athlete climbing everything in sight. We just love all the parks we have nearby!




We have had unseasonably warm temperatures around here for March, so I'll post an update with pictures of all the fun things we've been doing in the sun! I'm just waiting for another spring snow to arrive, but for now, we've been sporting tank tops and shorts and wearing lots of sunscreen. Sheldon thinks he is one of the big kids and LOVES cruising around parks and getting filthy every day! Coranelle has been very helpful working in the garden and watering the sprouting tulips and daffodils

Our biggest news is that Sheldon started walking this past week. He'll take 5-15 steps before falling. He's bound and determined and will be walking all the time before we know it. It is such a fun milestone to watch and Sheldon is so proud of himself. Coranelle is torn between being excited for her brother and jealous of the attention his walking is getting him. Having a sibling is such a learning experience!

I hope you are all enjoying the start to spring.
We took the kids for a ride in the bike trailer. This was Sheldon's first ride. He did great and seemed to enjoy himself. I think having his sister sitting next to him helped!
Cuddling before bed!
Eating at Noodles & Co. We don't every really eat out, but we stopped for dinner after church Saturday and we were impressed with how well both kids behaved and ate. Sheldon decided the to-go box made a good hat, so they both got a kick out of wearing it.

Rachael and Stefan came over for dinner and the kids really enjoyed playing with them!
Bruce and Heidi babysat so that Ryan and I could go for a bikeride/date.
Watching the train go by on our Walker Ranch ride.
Teaching ourselves to bike through snow was difficult, but a fun adventure!
Cruising the park on a sunny Saturday!
Uncle Ryan holding Anders on his birthday!
Coranelle got to pick out some flip flops and is learning how to wear them. She looks so cute in them!
My little garden helper. We are getting excited to plant our front garden and possibly by some trees for the backyard.
Sheldon discovered a love for the water table.
Riding the carousel at the zoo!

no more babies!

Sheldon mastering the Kazu!
Another haircut!
Coranelle with her new umbrella from Grams and PopPops!
Coranelle has a new found love for puzzles and she is really good at them!
Josh talking to his new son- Anders!
Hello precious boy! I am one proud Auntie!
Sheldon exploring at Jumpin' Jordy's on one of the many days that we were avoiding the wind or snow!
Finding play places wherever we can- this is a canoe slide at REI!
Lots of Morks. This is Sheldon's first time meeting Anders. Sheldon really is still more interested in Kona (their puppy) than the baby. That will change!
Coranelle's new bear- Good Luck!

Cleaning off the bear and fluffing it!
Playing at a lego table in Barnes and Nobles. I've had to get creative to get these kiddos out and burn some energy!

Somehow, in just over a month my "baby" will turn one. It is hard for me to believe that he is already becoming a little pre-toddler. And, as we are not having any more kids, our house will almost done with its baby days.

It is a good thing that Josh and Claire had their precious son on February 22nd. I had the honor of being there during Claire's labor and I got to meet my nephew right away. It was such a gift and an amazing experience to watch my brother-in-law and sister-in-law become parents. It was amazing to see the way Josh took care of Claire all through labor and delivery. They were so smitten and excited and emotional. It has been fun to see them be proud and protective and taking lots of pictures! Ryan and I are so in love with our little nephew and Coranelle cannot stop talking about little Anders. We are thrilled that our kids will have cousins that they can be friends with.

The other news in our corner of the world is the wind. It has been crazy and unrelenting. It actually blew down a section of our fence two weeks ago. Ryan spend the whole weekend working hard at replacing it. The wind has prevented us from spending much time outside because it has been so cold and intense. So, today we have a park date planned with a few friends and we are really hoping we won't be blown home!

Sheldon is fearless and crazy. His newest addictions are unrolling toilet paper and trying to play in the toilet. He is a FAST crawler and walking all around furniture and even taking a few steps from one table or chair to another. I feel like walking will come soon and I am not prepared for having two children taking off in different directions! Sheldon babbles and chats all the time and loves to laugh and crack himself up. He is really a pretty silly boy and we adore him. He has learned a few signs (despite our lack of dedication in teaching him them) and can tell us when he is all done or wants more. Sheldon also has at least 6 teeth now and seems to be in a constant state of teething. He's getting ready to be a great eater!

Coranelle is as busy and spunky as ever. One of our recent highlights was filling up her bead jar for her good behavior and listening. We went to Build-A-Bear and she got to stuff and create her own green teddy bear. It was a fun and sweet experience and I think the bead jar is working well for her. We now have Coranelle enrolled in soccer camp, summer preschool and real preschool in the fall. Lots of fun things on the horizon!

I hope you are all doing well and enjoying the coming spring. We are excited to be spending more time outdoors and to vacation in Arizona in April!

SUCH a big heart

Coranelle and I threw and spur-of-the-moment tea party on Friday. She got all dressed up, helped me make cookies, sandwiches with the crusts cut off, fruit teas, snacks, and name cards!
Getting all set up for her friends!
She even let me braid her hair and she put on her special dress that "twirls and swooooshes" when she dances.
Her Valentines Day flowers from her daddy!

It is 9:30am and quiet at my house. It has not been quiet at my house at this time since Coranelle was 10 months old and taking a morning nap!

Sheldon is upstairs sleeping and Coranelle is enjoying a sleepover and special morning with her Grams. Heidi had the day off for Presidents day, so Coranelle spent the night with Grams and PopPops. She has had a great time- soaking up all the one on one attention. Sheldon is also basking in the attention that Ryan and I doted on him. I am SO glad that I have two kids! I love them with my whole heart, but it is so fun for them to be spoiled and get one on one attention!

Since I had a few seconds to blog, I thought I'd share a touching story about my girl. On Thursday this past week, I took the kids to the mall play place. It was cold and windy... again, and we were going stir crazy... again. After running, climbing, playing, crawling and wearing themselves out, we got ready to leave and head home for lunch. Coranelle spotted this really cool, bright red, firetruck stroller that you can rent at the mall. Without really thinking, she crawled into the empty seat as the mother tried to park her firetruck in the busy stroller parking. Meanwhile, I had Sheldon in one arm and was trying to dig our stroller out of the chaos. I told Coranelle she couldn't get in the stroller, as it wasn't ours. Since my hands were full, I couldn't physically remove her. The beautiful, sweet mom behind her stroller jokingly said, "Oh, that's okay. She can stay in. She's pretty cute and I wouldn't mind taking her home with me." I smiled and laughed and asked the woman if she would mind if my daughter sat there until I could put my son down in our stroller where he wouldn't get stepped on.

Coranelle, on the other hand, did not realize that the woman was teasing. She just melted down and began balling and yelling, "I don't want to go home with her. No mommy, no. No!" She quickly became hysterical as I pulled her out of the firetruck and tried to convince her that she wasn't going home with anyone but me. I told her I loved her and would never let someone else take her home. Anyhow, it took me about 15 minutes to fully calm her down.

So, I thought that the episode was over and she understood that the woman was just teasing and complimenting her. I was wrong. Later that night, I got Coranelle out of her bath and she was sitting on my lap as I put lotion on her. This is our usual cuddle time and I put my arms around her and told her I loved her. Out of nowhere, she just melts down all over again. Quickly becoming hysterical. She turns around in my lap and just blubbers, "Mommy, I don't like firetrucks! I don't want to go with that other mommy! Mommy, I just love you too much. I just love you too much." It took me a while to figure out what she was talking about. And then it took another 10 minutes to get her to calm down.

Meanwhile, Josh, Claire, Ryan and Sheldon were downstairs listening to her wail- probably thinking that she had cracked her head open. I think they were all a little surprised to know that she was crying because she "loved me too much". Bless her heart!

Now, suggestions on how to explain to 2 year olds that some things are said literally and others are not? Who knew?! At least I know she loves me and wants to continue coming home with me! ;-)