special moments

Today was our Christmas service at church. Flatirons doesn't do services on Christmas Eve or Christmas day, just the weekend before. Once you let go of the tradition of going to a candle lit service on Christmas Eve, it makes sense. The reason for this is that after this weekend, the pastors, employees and volunteers have some time off to be with their families- which I think is great. Further, "church" is not a place, it is us, a body of people. Just because we don't have a church service, does not mean that we cannot continue being a church, or a light, outside those building walls.
Anyhow, we went to the earliest service, hoping it wouldn't be really crowded. So, we chose the 3:30pm service on Saturday. We decided to try to put Coranelle in the nursery so that we could sit with Ryan's family. When we got to the nursery, Coranelle had been fed and had a nap and there were lots of friendly volunteers waiting to love on her. There are plenty of new and exciting toys and all of this should make an hour "doable" for her. But, before the sermon had even begun, our number was called and we had to go pick Coranelle up. Despite the fact that there were thousands of people at the service (literally), ours was the only number to get called the whole time. The cry room was jam packed, so we decided to try our luck sitting in the very back of the sanctuary with Coranelle on our laps. She did great. She jabbered a bit here and there, but the people sitting around us seemed gracious and just smiled at her. When we started to sing the last hymn and everyone was lighting their candles, we decided to go back and join Ryan's family. Coranelle was absolutely calm and cherub-like as she watched the people around her and the many glowing flames. She clung to me and looked around, almost as if she knew she was taking part in something much bigger, much more powerful and significant than herself. I teared up as I watched her, quite thankful that I was able to hold her during that priceless moment, rather than have her in the nursery with a stranger. God has a way of surprising you with special, unexpected blessings. Yes, I wish Coranelle would learn to trust the people in the nursery so we could go to church. But, this time last year, I was anxiously anticipating the chance to hold my baby. I don't want to take Coranelle for granted, nor the time I have with her as a baby. It is hard at times, sure. I never expected this much time of motherhood to be centered around trying to keep her happy. I knew our lives would change. I knew our friends would shift, our schedules, etc. I just never imagined it to be an all consuming task to keep my wee one content. But she was this afternoon, even if the string of Christmas songs was brief. Without her pacifier, she was totally and utterly happy to listen to all of us sing about the joy of Christ's birth. And I will cherish those brief minutes forever. It seems fitting that at Christmas time, one of the most meaningful moments I've experienced is one with a helpless and innocent baby.