15 pieces of advice for friends and family

After eating TONS of watermelon on Memorial Day
Playing in the backyard with Kona.
Exploring Grams and PopPop's backyard.
Heidi's $1 garage sale find. Fun!
Love the crazy hair!

What to do for new parents:

This blog post was inspired by the fact that I know of a lot of women that are pregnant right now and it brings me back to what it was like, adjusting to a new life with an infant. I thought I would write down all of the wonderful things people did for us or other new parents as well as the things I wish family and friends would have done. That way, as my close friends and siblings have kids in the future, I will have this to look back on so that I know how to be a good support for other new parents. If you have other things to add, leave me a comment so that I have extra opinions.

1. If it’s not horribly inconvenient, bring some flowers by the hospital. My mom just did this for a friend of ours from HS who was in labor and I thought it was so sweet of her!
2. Bring dinner by for the new parents. Bring something healthy and enough for leftovers. It’s hard as a new mom to make time to prepare good food for lunches with a crying, nursing baby. We had a few friends do this as well as parents and it was wonderful!
3. Call before you show up and check to see if it’s an okay time. As wonderful and thoughtful it is that you are stopping by, the new parents may be trying to nap, nurse or spend some time with the new baby.
4. Set up a time to go over and clean or help out. Rearrange YOUR schedule to do this- especially if you don’t have napping kids. Heidi did this last summer when she wasn’t working and it was wonderful to have someone to walk with, and someone to hold a screaming child while I went to the store, to get a hair cut, or to take a nap.
5. Ask the new mom how SHE is doing. Ask her if being a mom was what she expected. Let her be honest about how hard it is. I remember when Kelly (another mom) called me up about 2 months into being a mom and just let me vent to her about how frustrating it was that my child cried all day. I also remember receiving an e-mail from my friend Jessica, asking me how my heart was. It was so wonderful to be asked how I was adjusting. Every time Bruce saw me, he asked how things were going for me. I really appreciated those questions.
6. If you think about it, send a card to the new mom. My friend Lauren sent me a really sweet note of encouragement during a rough patch and it sat out on my table for months and looking at it made me feel like someone was thinking about us.
7. Send random gifts for the baby. My friend, Kaitlyn did this and it was so sweet to put my daughter in the new shoes from my HS best friend. My mom and Heidi also always brought over little gifts and seeing Coranelle playing with their toys, wearing the outfits, and reading the books made me realize the system of support Coranelle, Ryan and I had.
8. If you can tolerate it, hold the screaming baby so the new parents can go out, eat dinner at a get together or just take a break. Mom, Steve, Bruce and Heidi all did this for us and it was great to be able to finish a meal or let my ears stop ringing for a moment- while knowing that my baby was safe in their arms.
9. NEVER, ever tell a mom that her child is disgusting or gross in any way- even if they have blowouts or spit-up or whatever. When you criticize a baby, the mom takes it very personally. (Really, when you criticize a baby, you criticize the mom)
10. Don’t say rude things about a child’s birthmark or size. It will hurt the parents’ feelings. If you know the parents well, ask them kindly. Don’t ask when it will go away or if you’ll have it removed. Don’t tell them they’re feeding the baby too much or too little. You don’t need to point these things out to parents. They are clearly aware of them. Coranelle has a noticeable red stork bite/angel kiss down the center of her forehead. When she’s frustrated, sad, or excited, it gets really dark purple. It will probably fade by the time she is 2, but I am tired of the questions. Especially when people say, “What’s wrong with her head? When will it go away? Can you have it removed?” and so on. Fortunately, Vann has lovingly dubbed it her “Super Stripe”. His title for it has made me love that little mark, but I am tired of all of the insensitive remarks about it.
11. When new parents get a babysitter and go out with you, make a big deal about how grateful you are that they came. Let them call home and be worried about their newborn without making fun of them. Someday, you’ll understand.
12. Send a present or a little note on the baby’s birthdays. Just something little so they know you care. Coranelle got lots of thoughtful gifts and cards.
13. If the wee one has a party, make a big deal out of it. Help out, bring something, rearrange your schedule to be there. We had lots of great help with Coranelle’s party and it was so special to us!
14. Don’t just offer to babysit- Do it! Set up a date. Our parents have been awesome about this and it has allowed us to do all sorts of fun things. Thanks guys!
15. Make an effort to get to know the baby. It will mean a lot to the parents and to the child as they grow up.
16. If you can, give mom a chance to work out or get a pedicure.
17. If the family already has a child, send the older child a present when the new baby comes.

There, 15 things for me to keep in mind when other people have kids. Hopefully I can be as thoughtful as some of the wonderful people in our lives have been for us!

On a completely different note, Coranelle went to her first year appointment today. She now weighs a whopping 18lbs 5oz. It actually puts her in the 10th percentile, which is up from the 4th percentile. Yay! She's 29 1/2 inches tall (65th percentile) and her head is 18 inches in circumference (70th percentile). She is healthy and doing well. I told the pediatrician all about our struggle with getting her to drink milk. He told me to give up the fight and stop worrying. She will be fine with all the cheese, yogurt, and other dairy she eats. I might have to give her a vitamin for the Vitamin D she is lacking, but other than that, she should be fine. He said to stop trying with the milk and try again in 6 months. Whew! That is a weight lifted off my shoulders that I don't have to battle with Coranelle daily about her milk intake (or lack thereof). I also spoke with him about her high pitched screaming and her throwing of unwanted food. After watching her for a half hour, he told me that Coranelle was going to be a really hard child and we had our work cut out for us. Then, he kindly asked how we were doing with all of it. I just laughed. I told him we have known for 10 + months that she was not going to be an easy child. She hasn't been easy going about anything thus far, so we have come to expect it. Regardless, I told him she's a really fun little peanut and we love her. I'm actually quite happy that my girl will be strong willed and independent as she gets older.

Watching her get shots, was NOT fun. I totally hate watching them load their 4 needles and pierce her perfect little thighs. I loathe watching Coranelle's face turn purple as she stops breathing. Poor thing. She looked so pale and tired when I loaded her up into the car. She's upstairs sleeping it off now. Hopefully she wakes up the strong willed child we've come to love!